Tales from the Crib: True Confessions of a Shameless Procreator.

• Author: Flynn, Patrick J.B.
• Position: Brief Article

Thinking of having children? Think again. henrik Drescher takes Dr. Seuss up a couple of notches from "Hop on pop!" by invoking through his art such verbs as drop, plop, slop, fwaap!, and lop. It all happens in one form or another between the covers of Tales from the Crib. This little gem of a book published in October is a must-read for prospective parents, and the absolute antidote for those special people and all their special children raised on this, the only special planet we have under our very own special sun.

Drescher takes all the myths of that magical world called parenthood, soundly spanks them, and sends them off to bed without dinner. He goes well beyond his claim to reveal the "mystical truths" of Mommying and Daddying, citing, for example, reasons for procreation: "You've discovered how. You're bored. You're about to break up. You have too little laundry to do. You have too much freedom. You have too much money." And, finally, "You feel the need to prove that you're MAN ENOUGH." Enigmas of the "post-partum sex life" are unraveled to expose the darker side of the somewhat heavier underbelly of pregnancy. And there's more--solutions to all those pesky child-rearing problems, from teething to weaning.

Although my own children are relatively calm, cool, collected adults at this advanced stage of their teenage lives, I still remember the many traumatic, wild...