Spirit of Valentine's Day Can Last All Year.

• Position: Interpersonal relations - Brief Article

Valentine's Day is the holiday when romance is supposed to bloom; love is in the air; and roses, candy, and cards are the preferred presents of the day. Well, what about the other 364 days of the year? Heidi Reeder, assistant professor of communications, The University of North Carolina at Greensboro, says that couples should put more effort into the things that are necessary for maintaining strong love relationships. "Valentine's Day comes once a year, and the question that needs to be answered is, `How do we keep love alive?' It's a question that couples need to ask themselves and find ways to work through."

One of the main theories on love states that it is made up of three primary components--intimacy, commitment, and passion--she notes. A lot of relationships, though, tend to contain just one or two elements, and couples should look at all three areas to find out if any need to be nurtured. Intimacy involves talking honestly and disclosing oneself to the other person, feeling close and connected, and listening to each other. "Basically, it's communicating on an intimate level." Commitment is making the decision that one is invested in the relationship and doing things that show it. "Passion is all those things that Valentine's Day usually focuses on--the romance, infatuation, excitement, desire."

Reeder believes that intimacy and communication are at the heart of love. Whenever people are asked, "What is love?," the things they often cite are honesty, openness, friendship, personal closeness, and feelings of "one-ness" and togetherness as elements that contribute to intimacy. "Nothing creates intimacy better than an honest sharing of oneself with another person, and this involves communication. Communication is central to a love relationship."

Couples who have been together...