Some thoughts about incivility and being disabled

• DOI: http://doi.org/10.1002/hrdq.21388
• Date: 01 February 2020
• Published date: 01 February 2020
• Author: Thomas G. Reio

EDITORIAL

Some thoughts about incivility and being disabled

We lost Joanne Sanders-Reio, my beloved wife, December 19, 2019 after a determined, but futile struggle against

an inoperable brain tumor (glioblastoma—Grade 4) that was diagnosed May 2, 2019. Joanne was an educational psy-

chologist and lifelong adult educator who researched writing beliefs and strategies and championed writing and

speaking in plain language. She loved conducting research, challenging her students to be the best they could be, and

most of all, her Creator and life itself.

Joanne always spoke about “managing”the disease instead of “fighting”it because she thought that was the

incorrect approach to handling such a devastating illness. We both knew the survival rate for glioblastomas was piti-

fully low; all we could do is work with the medical professionals, manage whatever came our way, and never, ever

give up. Because she was an optimist and still had the fire to teach and research, she decided not to retire and

instead took medical leave for the fall 2019 semester. Even with being on leave, she continued to work on our

research concerning curiosity and well-being during emerging adulthood and served on three doctoral committees;

her last dissertation proposal defense was November 20, 2019.

Amazingly, she never complained or wallowed in self-pity, despite being unable to move her left side for the last

6 months of her illness. She was never angry or depressed as well; rather, she worried about her doctoral students

and of course family, particularly me because of not only my profound sadness, but also the lack of any idea how we

would handle all the medical expenses. As is common in our household, we joked about finding a good panhandling

spot, just in case.

For the first few weeks after her diagnosis, Joanne struggled mightily with the notion that she was disabled and

no longer able to be completely independent. Being familiar with the disability literature, she knew she suddenly had

become a member of the “largest minority group”(Rocco, Bowman, & Bryant, 2014, p. 299); that is, a person with a

disability. Not surprisingly, her physical self-concept and self-esteem plummeted. Initially, she was able to retain

some precious independence through using a “walker”to move around the house, shop, and dine out. However, con-

sistent with the etiology of glioblastomas, the disease progressed so astonishingly quickly that by the end of May

she could move about solely via a wheelchair.

It was not being in a wheelchair that bothered her; it was the uncivil way she was treated at her favorite stores

and restaurants while using the wheelchair. The incivility, defined as “low intensity deviant behavior with ambiguous

intent to harm the target, in violation of workplace norms for mutual respect”(Andersson & Pearson, 1999, p. 457),

was exhibited in many ways. Typically, researchers examine incivility through the lens of being either the target,

onlooker, or instigator. I propose there is also another unexplored type of incivility where the organization instigates

incivility toward its clients.

In our first foray into shopping in a wheelchair, we went to a well-known woman's store specializing in cos-

metics. Because we struggled to get through the doors, someone was kind enough to hold open the doors. As soon

as we entered, we were happy to encounter a bright, eager salesperson who volunteered to take us directly to the

makeup section. Unfortunately, we were not able to follow because we constantly had to move the displays clogging

the aisles along the entire route. The salesperson never tried to assist us in unclogging the aisles. Still, we persisted,

found what we needed and hastily queued at the checkout counter. While in line, because apparently he felt we

were in his way, a fellow customer glared at us so hard it seemed like his eyes were going to explode. We paid our

DOI: 10.1002/hrdq.21388

© 2020 Wiley Periodicals, Inc.

Human Resource Development Quarterly. 2020;31:9–11. wileyonlinelibrary.com/journal/hrdq 9