Solution Focused Strategic Parenting of Challenging Teens: A Class for Parents

• DOI: http://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3729.2000.00165.x
• Author: Tracy Todd
• Date: 01 April 2000
• Published date: 01 April 2000

2000, Vol. 49, No. 2165

An Essay for Practitioners

Solution Focused Strategic Parenting of Challenging Teens:

A Class for Parents

Tracy Todd*

This parenting class combines concepts and interventions associated with solution focused and strategic family therapy. The class

continues to evolve after two years of delivery. The original goal was to combine didactic and group processes to assist parents in

reducing escalations and crises, decrease the ‘‘f‌ix my kid’’ attitude, and create prevention strategies. The target population for this

class was parents of high-risk teenagers. Class participants have expanded to include all types of families and parenting situations.

Parents report f‌inding the class content very useful. Surprisingly, many parents report little exposure to this content from other parenting

classes they have attended.

*Tracy Todd,Ph.D., LMFT, is President of the Brief Therapy Institute ofDenver, Inc.,

aff‌iliate faculty at the University of Colorado at Denver, and a clinical member of the

American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. Tracy has presented this material

to professionals throughout the United States so that others can offer a similar class. Hise-

mail address is: DrBrief@btid.com

(Family Relations, 2000, 49, 165–168)

The ‘‘Solution Focused Strategic Parenting forChallenging

Teens’’ was created in response to common themes ob-

served by family therapists within our agency working

with families involving high-risk adolescents. Some of these

characteristics include hopelessness, easily escalative families,

parents with a ‘‘get a bigger hammer’’ mentality, and the con-

tinued use of ineffective parenting strategies out of desperation

(e.g. grounding, Tough Love strategies). Thetargeted population

involved families with teenagers engaged in behaviors consid-

ered high risk: drug and alcohol abuse, violence, gang involve-

ment, suicidal and homicidal situations. As an adjunct to family

therapy, the class provides additional psychoeducation and sup-

port.

We created this class to achieve three specif‌ic goals when

working with highly escalative families. First, our agency wanted

to ‘‘stop the bleeding.’’ Characteristic of these families is the

inappropriate use of a therapist’s pager, parents wanting more

than one session per week or requesting very long sessions. Try-

ing to convince these parents that their requests may be inap-

propriate can create alienation because they are not receiving the

attention they feel is needed. The class quickly gives them ad-

ditional support as well as some interventions to try at home.

The second goal was to decrease the ‘‘f‌ix my kid’’ mentality that

many parents hold. Parents who have challenging teens typically

also have a long standing history of legal involvement, school

problems, drug and alcohol issues, or assault (verbal or physical)

in the home. These parents seem to have a very diff‌icult time

understanding how their role in problematic behavior can esca-

late or decrease a crisis. The f‌inal goal of the class was delivering

prevention strategies. Over time, parents have started using in-

formation to help them prevent negative occurrences in the fam-

ily. While some material may not be suitable for their preteen

children, parents appreciate having ideas to try with their youn-

ger children.

Class Components

Population

The population attending this class is varied. The socioeco-

nomic range is very aff‌luent to very poor. Intelligence and level

of functioning ranges from high to low. Parental constellation

has included stepparents, single parent households, gay couples,

and both biological parents.

Class design

The material presented in the class is continuously evolving

depending upon societal occurrences. When there was a violence

outbreak within a school, we added material to help parents as-

sess the level of violence within their adolescent. The entire class

consists of four modules. Two modules are presented per month,

each module is 90 minutes. The module includes 45 minutes of

didactic information and another 45 minutes of group discussion.

Parents can start the class with any module. They need to attend

all four modules consecutively in order to complete the class.

Modules and Module Content

Throughout the modules we try to maintain some common

themes. These themes include: unpredictable response patterns,

having a strategy for parenting, delaying responses, modeling/

shaping, noting non-problem time, and creating a positive ‘‘sev-

en-year’’ relationship.

Parents commonly make statements such as ‘‘My son sure

knows how to push my buttons,’’ or ‘‘That daughter of mine is

so manipulative.’’ In each module we emphasize that parentsare

often frustrated and angered because their child is better than

they are at manipulating a situation. Parents typically have one

response pattern for a wide variety of behaviors from their teen-

ager. We emphasize that being predictable is the equivalent of

showing your hand in a poker game. The emphasis is on becom-

ing less predictable. In order to be less predictable, parents need

to develop a strategy about how they are going to respond to a

negative event. The emphasis is on developing a non-emotional

response so the situation is less likely to escalate. By delaying

their responses they may develop a more effective response pat-

tern. This combination of developing a plan and responding in

a nonescalative manner is very good role modeling for their teen-

ager.

Shaping is a very important concept to introduce because

many parents want instant change and improvement. When im-

mediate change does not occur, they often drop out of treatment