Smug shots.

• Author: Durst, Will
• Position: OFF THE MAP - Rick Perry

Knew he shouldn't. Couldn't help himself. I'm talking about the sneering leer peering out of Rick Perry's mug shot. Or to be more precise, his smug shot. In the photo released by the Austin Police Department, the Texas governor was grinning like a Cheshire cat that just cleaned out the canary department at a PetSmart.

Because he vetoed the budget of the Travis County district attorney's whole agency when she refused to resign following a drunken driving conviction, Perry was indicted on two federal felony counts relating to abuse of power. Which, for politicians, is real similar to being accused of breathing through their mouth. Or wearing tasselled loafers. The loyal opposition is programmed to consider all uses of power abusive, a fact extensively covered in every freshman orientation pamphlet.

The three reasons the longest-serving governor in Lone Star history was smirking are obvious.

One: There's a better chance of being struck by lightning while holding Charlize Theron's purse stuffed with winning Powerball tickets than being convicted.

Two: He will wear these charges as a loud red badge of partisan courage, rekindling previously foundering Presidential aspirations.

As for the third thing ... he, unh, well, unh, he'll have to get back to you. Ooops.

The guy is delighted he's being indicted. Further proof that today any and all publicity is good publicity. Andy Warhol's future has arrived and taken over the conference room. Famous for fifteen minutes. That's the goal. Doesn't even have to be fifteen minutes. Thirty seconds will do.

You don't have to be talented or accomplished or good looking or even credible. Just shoot your name and face out there. Get on television. Even basic cable. Do whatever it takes to force people to talk about you--by hook or by crook or by booking photo.

With seven series and a spate of spin-offs, the Bravo Network has practically given up on narrative programming, morphing into the Real Housewives Channel or The Women Be Fighting and Stuff Network.

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