Skip a loan payment.

AuthorWachtel, George
PositionTHE LETTER CLINIC

Many financial institutions offer their customers the opportunity to "skip" a loan payment, with a fee-generating offer that is especially effective back-to-school time, pre/post holidays and before the summer. This personalized letter from American Eagle CU (Connecticut) went to its members before the summer months and carried that theme.

(1) Overall Look: When the reader opens up the envelope and takes out this letter, their eyes will focus on the four-color box on the right side. This graphic covers the basic message with a nice image of a smiling guy who is skipping his payment. Small graphic flaw: They should have "flipped" the image so that he is looking INTO the copy, not off the page.

(2) Institution Name: While this mailing is going only to their own customers, who know they are a CU, it is interesting to note how small that information appears on their letterhead.

(3) Letter Headline: This is a good headline and subhead that communicates the basic consumer benefit and moves them into the letter copy.

(4) Salutation: This is a weakness. Rather than "Jennifer Skower," it would have been better to either use "Dear Jennifer" or "Dear Ms. Skower."

(5) First Paragraph: I like that they start off by congratulating the customer for their "prompt payment history" as the lead in to the offer.

(6) Consumer Benefits: This paragraph would better have been placed before the bullets with the Action Alternatives (which are...

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