Sixty-second radio commercial: call waiting.

• Position: Brief article

[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]

SFX: PHONE PICKS UP. THE WOMAN ANSWERS, SHE SPEAKS INTO THE PHONE, WE HEAR THE MAN.

WOMAN: Hello.

MAN: Hi honey, how's your day going? I was just ...

WOMAN: Please hold. Your call will be answered in the order it was received.

MAN: But it's me, I ...

SFX: PHONE CLICKS AND MUZAK INTERRUPTS HIM. THE ON-HOLD MUSIC PLAYS FOR A WHILE. THEN SHE COMES BACK ON.

WOMAN: To better serve you, please select from the following choices. (MAN: Honey?) For small talk about my day, press one. (MAN: This is a joke, right?) To apologize for doing something wrong, press two. (MAN: Oh come ...) To tell me an interesting story, press four. (MAN: Honey!) For calls just to say you love me, press five.

MAN: What?! (PAUSE, THEN HE FINALLY DECIDES TO PUSH A BUTTON.)

WOMAN: Thank you. This call may be monitored ...

MAN: Honey, wait now, hon ...

WOMAN: (INTERRUPTS HIM) Please hold.

SFX: MUZAK...