Sibling rivalry is perfectly normal.

Who has not watched kittens, puppies, and other small animals "play fight" among themselves? Most people don't think twice about such an obviously natural stage of development. When that scenario is transferred to young humans, though, a majority of parents endeavor to stamp out all conflict, with the impossible goal of keeping harmony among their children at all times.

This isn't always the best approach, because much of the natural jockeying for position among siblings serves a valuable purpose, maintains Wanda Draper, a child development specialist and professor of psychiatry, University of Oklahoma Health Sciences Center. "Interaction with siblings is the first experience many children have with leaning to socialize. . . . Children use interaction with their brothers and sisters as a way to learn how to negotiate, to Compromise, to become goal seekers, and to command and give respect to their peers. This is the ideal way for young children to begin to grasp the idea that other people have other points of view, It's a |dress rehearsal,' if you will, for social interaction beyond the family."

The time for mothers and fathers to intervene in their offspring's conflicts is when the squabbling becomes destructive, or someone is in danger of being hurt seriously. If the youngsters approach the parent for a solution, as they often do, then the parent can assist them while they resolve their own situation. "Say something like |Well, I can see you do have a problem. What do you...