Don't be shy: IU prof helps shy people boost their social lives and careers.

• Position: Opener - Indiana University professor Bernardo Carducci - Brief Article

It's not just a matter of being a wallflower at the eighth-grade dance. Shyness can follow a person into adulthood and become not only a social barrier but a handicap in the workplace.

So says Bernardo Carducci, a psychology professor at Indiana University Southeast in New Albany and the head of IU's Shyness Research Institute. The good news is that shyness can be managed, and that some of the world's richest and most successful people--including Microsoft cofounder Paul Allen--are among the ranks of the shy, Carducci says.

It's a wonder that the business world is not paralyzed by shyness, given the fact that between 40 and 45 percent of all people consider themselves to be shy. Yet for shy people, such statistics are actually good news, says Carducci. "That bit of information is one of the most empowering pieces of information we give to shy people. It tells them they're not alone."

Carducci has a wealth of advice to help shy people succeed in the workplace and in social settings. He's written two books, The Pocket Guide to Making Successful Small Talk and Shyness: A Bold New Approach. He's also shared his thoughts in more than 100 publications, including The New York Times, and has appeared on Good Morning America and Inside Edition.

Shy people tend to be excessively self-conscious, Carducci says, and they have an excessively negative evaluation of themselves. "It's like they're walking around with this mirror in front of them all day long," he says.

"Shy people become so self-conscious that they shut themselves down," he says. "They don't speak up in meetings." And that can give others--coworkers, bosses, clients--the often-mistaken idea that the shy person has no good ideas to share.

Shyness may manifest itself in an "approach/avoidance conflict." This refers to what happens when a person wants or needs to approach another--for friendly conversation or for a work matter, for example--but has self-doubts that make him or her want to avoid the situation. Other shy people, he says, demonstrate a "slow-to-warm-up tendency," a difficulty in becoming comfortable at a meeting or other new situation. Shy people also suffer from a "limited comfort zone," Carducci says. "Shy people tend to feel comfortable in only a limited number of situations."

For those slow to warm up...