Should parents make kids stick with extracurriculars?

• Position: Debate

Hate hockey and want to quit? Wish you'd never joined the chess club? Two views on whether you should be allowed to bail.

More than 80 percent of middle and high school students participate in at least one extracurricular activity. Beyond simple enjoyment, one reason is that involvement in the school play, the yearbook, or the soccer team looks good on a college application: Colleges want to know that you'll be an active member of the campus community outside of class. But how involved should parents be in their kids' extracurricular choices?

YES Last winter during the Olympics, Procter & Gamble ran a series of commercials called "Thank you, Mom." The one that really jumped out at me was the one where the athlete thanked her mom for not letting her quit. The message: When it got tough, when I wanted to sit in my room and cry, my parents wouldn't let me.

My wife and I force our daughters to choose a range of extracurricular activities and don't let them quit midstream. If they sign up at the beginning of the semester, they have to stick with it until the end. Sure, they can re-evaluate over the summer. But for the time being, they've made a commitment to the other players or performers, and they can't bail.

This has come up twice recently. First, when my kids lost interest in soccer and stopped trying during games. I gave them a big speech about lack of effort. They stepped it up for a few weeks, then we all agreed to drop it next season. They later hit a rough patch with piano. I wouldn't back down and a few months later they regained momentum.

I think we've gone too far when we ask children to make choices they're not always capable of making. First Lady Michelle Obama has gone against the tide by forcing her daughters, Malia and Sasha, to take up two sports: one they choose and one she selects. "I want them to understand what it feels like to do something you don't like and to improve," she said.

Kids don't get to pick whether they have to brush their teeth, take a bath, or get tetanus shots. So why are kids who need our help making other decisions suddenly allowed to make these decisions on their own when it comes to extracurriculars? The latest research shows that kids who practice making their own decisions-with the help of parents-actually build up their brains and develop important skills like setting their own schedules and evaluating their own work. Kids have a voice, but parents direct.

--BRUCE FEILER

Author, The Secrets of Happy...