Sex and the older adult.

• Author: Saltzman, Joe
• Position: WORDS IMAGES

IT USED TO BE that nobody really wanted to see old people on television or in the movies. It reminded them of the inevitable: we are born to die, and getting old was not pretty or fashionable. Old folks either were used for comedy (the dirty old man or the inane aging woman) or as pathetic individuals ignored by society.

Recent studies show, however, that as the yuppies and baby boomers get older, they are more likely to want to see vibrant older people living the good life. So, while the aged remain underrepresented in popular culture media, those who are shown, especially the men, usually are in good health, still holding onto good looks and an active lifestyle, and dating someone 15 to 20 years younger than them. Some women--called cougars in the popular press--fall into that category as well, while some older actresses even have become popular icons among the young and old alike, showing up as guests on popular programs or in talked-about commercials. (Betty White is the best example, creating an image of a hip, dirty-mouthed old broad who can duke it out with young and old alike.) There also are older actors who represent fond memories of early TV viewing who are brought back in reunion shows reminding everyone they are still alive and well.

The one area that always has been taboo, in real life and in the media, is the sex life of older people. Young adults who flock to films featuring flatulence and fornication among the young look away in disgust if parents or grandparents talk about their love life. In films and TV programs, when two people in their 60s or older go to bed, they usually stay under the covers, or a polite dissolve takes them from foreplay to the next morning. No one, it seems, wants to see aging bodies enjoying sex.

There are marvelous exceptions. When the two older folks are beloved actors, the public tends to accept them as sexual beings. The 2003 film "Something's Gotta Give"--with Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton--was lauded as showing older adults still active between the sheets, although the movie starts off with Nicholson dating Keaton's daughter (played by the young and attractive Amanda Peet, while Keaton is being wooed by a young doctor played by the youthful Keanu Reeves). The cinematic effort played off Nicholson's obsession with younger women, until the end, when he realizes the more age-appropriate Keaton really can match the younger women physically--and, when it comes to conversation and shared history...