Selling money market accounts.

• Author: Wachtel, George
• Position: THE LETTER CLINIC

THIS TWO-SIDED, OVER-SIZED POSTCARD from EverBank is trying to draw in some much-needed deposit dollars with their "commitment" to the consumer.

(1) High Rate: At an interest rate of 1%, in my opinion, it is still inappropriate to refer to your money market as having a "high rate." I would just delete the sentence "A high rate isn't enough."

(2) Commitment?: I think this word could be stronger, like "Your money deserves a GUARANTEE." People like "guarantees" much better than they do "commitments."

(3) The Product Name: I also believe the name, "Yield Pledge Money Market Account" could be made stronger with something like: Promise Money Market Account, Top Yield Money Market Account, or Top5 Money Market Account.

(4) APY vs. APR: A full 99 percent of the buying public has no idea the difference between these two acronyms. According to one source: APR is the annual rate of interest without taking into account the compounding of interest within that year. And APY does take into account the effects of intra-year compounding, which makes the bank's "rate" seem higher.

(5) The Mailer: Can you read the return address? It is very lightly screened so the fact that this Florida bank is using a Connecticut direct mail company will not be noticeable. Actually a good idea.

(6) Consumer Benefits: These two benefits need a subhead to introduce and highlight them on this side. Something like: "Two...