Selling credit cards.

• Author: Wachtel, George
• Position: THE LETTER CLINIC - Column - Brief article

* Letter Layout: As soon as the UConn graduates see their "Huskie" logo on the letter and enclosed coupon, they should be interested in reading what the bank has to say to them.

* The Johnson's Box: Here, and in the headline, they make the classic mistake of speaking to the consumer in "product features" instead of "consumer benefits." Rather than telling the reader they "qualify for a special low introductory rate" (0%!), they should translate that into words they use later, "save hundreds of dollars in interest."

* The Salutation: They choose the middle of the road alternative of using the prospect's full name in the salutation.

* The First Paragraph: They fall into the "we" trap here and start with that word. Better to start with "you" and say: "As a valued UConn alum with good credit history, you qualify for..."

* Key Factor: The bullet points would stand out more if they started with short consumer benefit statements like "Save Money," "Protect Against Unauthorized Purchases," etc.

* Other Key Factors: And I would have added both the No Annual Fee benefit and the $10 discount offer (on the coupon) in these key points.

* Call To Action...