Selling auto loans.

• Author: Wachtel, George
• Position: THE LETTER CLINIC - Letter to the editor

THIS AUTO LOAN LETTER FROM PENFED does an excellent job of capitalizing on its alliance with AAA and highlighting the benefits of their loan program.

1 The Johnson's Box: The piece uses a nice "slice of life" family photo and tag line; but it clutters it up trying to weave in its marketing theme (It's my life ... PenFed gets it"). Better to not have added those lines.

2 The Salutation: The bank choose the nice, friendly alternative of using the prospect's first name in the salutation.

3 The Highlights: It has become the common practice in today's direct marketing letters to run the highlights of the offer down the side of the page. They successfully use the technique here and visually show the AAA connection.

4 The First Paragraph: The first sentences do a good job of telling the reader WHY they are getting this letter and answering the critical question, "What's in it for me?"

5 Credential Building: Most readers will not know who PenFed is or what their connection to AAA is. These two paragraphs take a big chunk of the letter copy--but are well served in doing so.

6 Signature Block: N.M. just signed with his/her initials, which is a little cold; and they should have dropped the complicated last line of his/her title (Global Brand Marketing & Client...