Rise of the SILVER DIVORCE: "After decades of marriage in which they were focused more on the joint effort of raising the kids and making a living than they were on each other, [couples often] discover that they have grown apart, rather than together."(LIFE IN AMERICA)

• Author: Jenkins, Joryn
• Position: LIFE IN AMERICA

WE ALL have heard the statistics: some 50% of marriages end in divorce. You might be surprised to learn, however, that, in the U.S., the divorce rate doubled between 1990-2009 among adults 50 and older. In short, the divorce rate these days is highest for the baby boom generation--those bom between 1946-64.

A lot of couples purposely wait to divorce until their children have graduated from high school in an effort to make the transition easier for all concerned. Divorce can be especially traumatic on young children because, even in the best divorces, it causes major life changes. Families often must move out of the home that they lived in during the marriage. This can mean a new school, new friends, and new activities for minor children.

Even if a spouse is able to afford to remain in the marital home, the children will have to share their time with their parents, as they shuffle from household to household. Additionally, divorce with minor children usually is more expensive and stressful for parents because there are so many more issues involved. How will parenting time be shared? Will a primary caregiver now have to join the workforce? Who, if anyone, will remain in the marital home? It is easy to see why parents, if possible, would prefer to wait for their children to leave for college before ending their marriage.

Furthermore, it sometimes is when the last child heads off to college or to that first job that many couples realize that they no longer have anything in common now that the nest is empty. After decades of marriage in which they were focused more on the joint effort of raising the kids and making a living than they were on each other, they discover that they have grown apart, rather than together.

That is why so many relationship specialists suggest that invested couples enjoy "date night" and similar activities together--to strengthen their relationships while they still can. Successfully married couples understand that their relationship with each other is just as important, and takes just as much work, as their relationships with their children.

As children leave and spouses realize that they have drifted apart (for any number of reasons), it is far easier than ever before to spouse shop, to trade in the old model for a new one. Many spouses find themselves confronted by the "grass is always greener" dilemma. Do they stay in an unfulfilling (or worse) relationship in which they have little left in common with their boring...