Resume blunders and bloopers.

Despite the invention of spelling and grammar checkers for home computers, resumes laden with outrageous bloopers continue to land on the desks of hiring managers. While they may tickle the funny bone, the last laugh usually is on the applicant who is passed over for a job because of a poorly written resume.

Robert Half, president of the Accountemps national employment service, has coined the phrase "Resumania" to describe the blunders and gaffes that frequently appear on resumes. He has been collecting samples of some of the more bizarre listings for more than 40 years. Some examples include:

* "The boss said the end of the world is near."

* "Was met with a string of broken promises and lies, as well as cockroaches. . . ."

* "I was working for my mom until she decided to move."

* "I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely nothing and absolutely no one."

Half advises candidates to proofread their resumes carefully before sending them to a prospective employer. "Even better, have several friends or colleagues read the resume. A third party will often catch spelling or grammatical errors that were previously overlooked." He warns job hopefuls to avoid phrases that have double meanings or awkward wording. He also encourages would-be comedians to avoid testing new material on hiring managers, such as:

* "My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage."

* "Personal interests: Donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far."

* "I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."

...