Resolutions that weren't.

• Jurisdiction: United States
• Date: 01 February 2013
• Author: Durst, Will

Congratulations, we're almost a tenth of the way into this flesh annum, and many of us have actually gotten used to writing 2013 on our checks. Checks? Aren't we the analog ones. And how are you doing with your New Year's resolutions? Here's a list of what resolutions should have been made for this, the fourth year of the second decade of the twenty-first century, but probably weren't.

The 113th Congress resolved to supersede the 112th Congress's successes by accomplishing even less. Otherwise known as ... absolutely nothing.

Joe Biden took an oath to open every press conference with "Who wants a piece of me?"

President Obama pledged to outline a plan to fix the Social Security problem once and for all. Unfortunately, it involved raising...