Reframe your resolutions.

• Author: James, Matthew B.
• Position: MIND & BODY

WE ALL KNOW the drill: we write a hopeful fist of New Year's resolutions to start exercising, lose weight, learn a new language, make more money, or be better parents or lovers or spouses. Yet, these resolutions often do not last much longer than the time it takes our New Year's Eve champagne to go flat. It is not about the resolutions or goals themselves--it is how we work with those resolutions after we set them. The fact is, most individuals do not understand what it takes to create significant and lasting change. That is why so many people are interested in neuro-linguistic programming.

NLP is about how we communicate with ourselves and our world and how to make that more powerful. It starts with the understanding that all learning, behavior, and change begins in the subconscious or unconscious mind. One of the principles of NLP is the idea that the subconscious mind does not process negatives. Generally, when people create resolutions they are trying to move away from something rather than toward a goal. For instance, a person decides he or she does not want to be heavy, so a goal is set of losing a certain number of pounds by a certain date. It is much more effective to focus your resolutions and goals on what you do want, and then create a mental picture of what it means to achieve those goals.

We teach people to make sure goals fit the SMART model: specific-simple; measurable-meaningful; achievable-act (as in now); resources-responsibility; and timed toward what you want. A specific, simple, measurable goal would be deciding how much you want to weigh or have in your savings account by a certain date. Keep it simple, perhaps by choosing one lifestyle change to start. People often overcomplicate their lives by trying to do too many things at once. A simple, measurable, achievable goal would be "I'm going to walk my dog every day" or "I'm going to put this amount of money from each paycheck into savings."

Also, look at the resources you have and how you can use them responsibly. You have so much time each day to do what you need to do, so you might carve out a half-hour to walk your dog or run, or you might use your money responsibly to buy healthy goods rather than junk food and sweets.

Take out a piece of paper and draw a vertical line down the center. On the left side, write down all of the things that you want to release and remove from your life. For each item on the left, express on the right what you want to replace it. Make...