Red Tape in Russia.

• Author: Bridges, Peter

Title: Red Tape in Russia

Text:

Russia is famous for red tape, with paperwork required for just about any activity. I had my own first-hand experiences with this obstructive bureaucracy during my assignment to the USSR 1962-1964.

As assistant general services officer during my first year in Moscow, I ordered forms and furniture, supervised the motor pool, got broken toilets fixed, and tried to keep in operation our creaky Soviet elevators, which liked to break down late on Friday afternoons. While this was not glamorous diplomacy, it probably taught me more about Russia than what I gained as a political officer during my second year in the post.

Bring Out the Body

It was soon after reaching Moscow that I received a telephone call from an embassy colleague in Leningrad. He was escorting a small group of visiting American academics, and one of them had died suddenly of a heart attack. The man was from St. Louis. We cabled the State Department, which quickly got in touch with his family. They asked that we ship the remains to them. We made reservations: Leningrad to Moscow by Aeroflot, and westward from Moscow by KLM.

One of our embassy drivers, Sergei, took me to Sheremetevo airport where I found an Aeroflot employee who confirmed that the coffin had reached Moscow. She had the paperwork in hand. "You owe 1517 rubles," she said. That was something more than 1600 U.S. dollars.

"Fine," I said, "Please bill the embassy."

We don't do that. We need cash. How much cash do you have with you?

Around twenty rubles.

"Very well. It is four o'clock. If you want the body shipped on the six p.m. flight, you must pay me the full amount by five o'clock."

I ran to the car. "Sergei, we've got an hour to get to the embassy and back here!"

"We'll do it!"

It was about 20 miles from airport to embassy, and even back then there was a lot of traffic on our route. But the talented Sergei, speeding down Leningradskoye Shosse with horn blasting and headlights shining, got us to the embassy in good time. Whatever the cops thought our Ford was up to, they didn't stop us.

I ran into the embassy and found Dorothy Weihrauch, the budget and fiscal officer. "Dorothy, I need 1600 rubles. I'll explain later."

With scarcely a word she gave me the money. I got back to the Aeroflot lady before the hour was up. "Very well," she said, "And now you must see Customs."

Customs was in a large shed which contained, most notably, a large coffin and a thin customs officer. He looked...