"Let's give it up for the Secret Service. I don't want to be too hard on those guys. You know, because they're the only law enforcement agency that will get in trouble if a black man gets shot."
--Saturday Night Live cast member Cecily Strong, during her White House Correspondents' Dinner remarks, April 25
"I'm not an upstanding citizen. I'm the evil that goes bump in the night in this city. Whoever don't know my name, know my face. But goddamn, can we at least get due process? Send me to jail for life, if I'm a criminal. I don't want anyone to get hurt to night."
--Yusha Hasim Al-Fahd, a Baltimore gang member...