Pols behavior after sex scandals warrants new criminal laws.

• Author: Levco, Stan

CRIMINAL LAWS HAVE TO ADAPT tO the changing times. When illegal drugs became widespread, we passed more and tougher drug laws. The Internet spawned a spate of newly prohibited Internet conduct. It is now past time our criminal laws caught up with another area of reprehensible conduct.

I'm talking about elected officials engaging in sexual activity outside their marriage. Sure there are statutes prohibiting rape and prostitution, but the void in the law is allowing some pretty sordid behavior to go unpunished. I'm advocating newer and tougher laws to stop or at least slow down this behavior.

I'm no fanatic. I know it would be futile to simply criminalize extra-marital sex. I don't even want to go after those who issue a simple denial when confronted. After all, every criminal defendant in the country enters an initial plea of not guilty. It's the American way. And everyone knows that saying you didn't do it, isn't meant to be taken literally.

It's all the other offensive stuff after the initial denial that ought to be against the law. I would name these new laws after their most well known perpetrator and set the penalty according to the severity of the crime.

The Bill Clinton Anti-Finger Pointing Law

If Bill had simply said, "I didn't do it and will have no further comment," I'd call that a civil matter. But when he pointed his finger at the cameras and said, "I did not have sex with that woman," he crossed a line.

Anyone embellishing his lie on camera with finger pointing, fist pounding or any other emphatic hand gesture would be guilty of a misdemeanor.

The Vitter Violation

If Senator Vitter's wife, colleagues and constituents can forgive him for cavorting with prostitutes, I suppose I can too. But I can't ignore the hypocrisy of doing that after calling for Clinton's resignation and then voting for his impeachment

However I recognize hypocrisy is so prevalent in Congress, the jails couldn't hold all the violators, so I'd just make this an infraction, punishable by a fine or community service.

The Weiner Waffle

Sometimes equivocating is worse than lying. When Representative Weiner was asked whether the suggestive photos were of him, he replied that he could not answer "with certitude." Was there anyone on the planet who believed he didn't know?

Don't insult my intelligence by expecting me to believe you didn't know. I'd make waffling a misdemeanor, but if you use words like "certitude" in your explanation, I'd enhance it to a felony.

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