Playing dumb is smart.

• Author: Tumlin, Geoffrey
• Position: Psychology

THESE DAYS, it is difficult to watch the evening headlines or scroll through a news website without seeing that a politician, celebrity, athlete, or business leader is in the spotlight for saying something stupid. Sure, you might laugh--or wince --at these gaffes and wonder aloud why anyone would ever think saying that was a good idea. Secretly, though, a part of you may sympathize with the clueless celebrity or the foot-in-mouth politician because you have seen similar things happen in your own conversations: Jim in accounting shares a little too much about his weekend during a business lunch; your boss says something completely loony about a client on the way to a sales call; or your coworker Sarah lays a nutty conspiracy theory on you during an informal chat in the hallway.

Yes, dumb statements are a fact of life, but you can reduce the negative impact of someone else's dumb statements by playing dumb yourself--meaning that you pretend like you did not see it or hear it when another person does or says something ill advised. This strategy benefits you and the other person.

Specifically, playing dumb allows your conversational partner time to self-correct (e.g., "That's not what I meant" or "I can't believe I just said that; sorry") after an ill-conceived statement. This valuable conversational space allows hasty and counterproductive words to disappear without comment, thus preventing unnecessary damage to the underlying relationship.

Playing dumb especially is a smart strategy in the digital age where we are doing so much more talking, texting, and tweeting. Because communication and people fundamentally are imperfect, more communication means that there will be more incidents that require the silent treatment.

Here are some rules to help you smarten up by playing dumb when you see or hear something stupid:

Put on your best poker face. When an I cannot-believe-she-just-said-that moment occurs, your first instinct probably is to react physically. You might roll your eyes, sigh, raise your eyebrows, or even throw your hands in the air. Keep in mind, though, that actions speak just like words, so if you are serious about defusing the episode instead of escalating it, you will need to pretend that you are competing in the World Series of Poker.

Playing dumb is considerate when it is done discreetly, but it is embarrassing to the other person when it is overt. So, while you are being silent, also keep your eyes from rolling at whatever...