Picking the Path

• Author: Jeena Cho
• Pages: 24-25

24 || ABA JOURNAL DECEMBER 2018

Picking the Path

Take time to assess and create an intentional, joyful, satisfying life

By Jeena Cho

“I have to sit in the car and give mys elf a pep talk so

I can go into the o ce ever y morning. At the end of the

day, I often sit in my car and cry.”

This is what one coaching client sha red during a

recent call. From the outside, no one would gues s this

was her inner world. She has built a succes sful boutique

family law practice . She has a loving husband, a 5-year-

old son and a beautiful home—yet she strugg les with

longing for something more. I often see law yers in this

position: searching for meaning in t heir work and strug-

gling with a deep sense of di scontentment.

Lawyers are goa l-oriented, and we tend to excel at fol-

lowing the rules. Do well i n high school, get into a good

college, do well on the LSAT, get into a good law school,

graduate, pass t he bar, get a job at a law fi rm, put in your

dues and make partner. We falsely believe that follow ing

the script, checking a ll the boxes and earning the brass

ring will lea d to a career fi lled with a sense of meaning

and purpose.

When I graduated from law school, I t hought being

a trial lawyer w as my life’s work. There were certainly

aspects of tr ial work that I loved—the client interactions,

the strategy, the legal ana lysis. However, I loathed the

incivility, the endless fi ghts over thi ngs that really didn’t

matter in the end and liv ing in a world of confl ict.

Even though I felt this early on, I told myself to just

tough it out and continue doing it. Other lawyers t old

me: “Just give it time, it will get easier.” Eventually, it

did get easier. The last-minute fi ling the night before

Thanksgiv ing, the e orts of my opposing cou nsel to bury

my client in discovery—all the ma ddening games law-

yers play just became routine.

However, over time, I also noticed an inner year ning

not t o be a trial lawyer. It just wasn’t right for me. I

realized my ski lls were better suited for fi nding the

middle ground, helping clients fi nd solutions outside of

litigation and being a peacema ker.

WHICH ROAD TO TAKE?

When at a crossroads of choosing more of the sa me

or taking the path of uncer tainty, it’s helpful to have

some framework or strategies for choosi ng the road less

traveled.

As we head into the new yea r, it’s a wonderful oppor-

tunity to pause, t ake inventory and become more inten-

tional about identifyi ng your values and aligning your

life with what is tr uly important. Mindfulnes s and

meditation, as well as work ing with a life coach, were

incredibly helpful as I fi gured out how to tr avel that

unexplored path.

I h ave found that carving out a few minutes each

day to sit in contemplation gives me an opport unity to

realign myself, my time a nd my activities to my own val-

ues. It makes it easier to notice when I am out of bal-

ance, when boundaries have be en crossed and when I

need to make small c ourse corrections.

It’s a way to acknowledge that your own well-being

matters and to dedic ate a bit of time to it.

Here are four steps for creating a more intentiona l,

joyful and sat isfying life for 2019.

Acknowledge. Change isn’t possible until you are

willing to ac knowledge where you are and how you feel

about your current situation. Of ten, lawyers will resist

even admitting th at they are unhappy or that their life

feels out of control or misaligned bec ause this carries

with it uncomforta ble emotions. For example, if I ad mit

that I don’t want to be a lawyer, does that mean I have to

quit? If I quit, how will I pay my mortgage? How wil l I

pay back my student loans?

Acknowledging involves embraci ng all of those

On Well-Being

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