Peacemaking for Divorcing Families: Editor's Introduction

• Published date: 01 July 2015
• Author: Forrest S. Mosten
• Date: 01 July 2015
• DOI: http://doi.org/10.1111/fcre.12156

GUEST EDITORIAL NOTE

PEACEMAKING FOR DIVORCING FAMILIES:

EDITOR’S INTRODUCTION

As you start your journey through this issue, you might ask: Why not just title it, Mediation for

Divorcing Families? Why inject the concept of peacemaking?

For almost thirty-five years, mediation has been my life’s work. The work is intellectually chal-

lenging, and it makes a difference to the lives of the adults and children whom we touch. We have

seen an enormous expansion in the number of skilled mediation practitioners, and I am gratified to

have been involved in training many of them.

I still believe strongly in the value of mediation. But I think there is a need for further innovation

and deeper exploration in how we approach the practice and teaching of this process. Mediation pio-

neers dreamed of the day when lawyers would take us seriously. We should always be careful about

what we wish for: Due to overburdened and underbudgeted family courts, mediation has become the

panacea for pretrial settlement. Mediation rates of settlement have been touted often without regard

to the quality of those settlements. John Lande has observed the rise of “Liti-Mediation,” lawyer

domination of mediation, and Leonard Riskin and Nancy Welsh have lamented the loss of the voice

of mediation participants when surrounded around the mediation table by their lawyers and their

mediator, who is most likely a lawyer.

We need to develop a practice of peacemaking that augments our mediation work. Reducing the

workload of courts is not enough. Peacemaking differs from mediation in its impact on the people we

serve and on us as divorce professionals.

Mediation is a process. It may look very different in a variety of settings. Mediations that take

place in a courthouse limited to a couple of hours with mandatory participation may be different

from mediations in sequential sessions that meet over weeks or months in private offices with the

input of experts and various professionals. The purposes of mediation may range from neutrally

processing a court decree to offering a safe container to permit family members to blow off steam,

clarify their issues, and make some improvement in their communication in order to rebuild trust.

Peacemaking is not a process but a set of values, personal attributes, goals, and behaviors that

guide our work. Many mediators are peacemakers; many are not. Many peacemakers are mediators;

others have very different roles, many of which are not neutral. Peacemakers can be judges, litigators,

teachers, therapists, clergy, or peace educators.

Peacemaking means creating a sense of harmony and mindfulness within our own lives and in

our work by harnessing our core values and best personal attributes. It means devoting our professio-

nal efforts to the improvement of the parties’ individual lives, repair of their relationships inside and

outside of their families, and the prevention of future conflict.

Two books are primarily responsible for my ardent adoption of this peacemaking approach to

family conflict: Bringing Peace in the Room by Daniel Bowling and David Hoffman (2003) and

Calm in the Face of the Storm by Nan Waller Burnett (2007). Bringing Peace in the Room is a col-

lection of essays that feature two of my peacemaking heroes, Ken Cloke and Lois Gold, as well as

chapters by Hoffman and Bowling. A key takeaway from this book is the symbiotic contribution that

we and our clients offer each other in not just the more efficient resolution of conflict but also the

reciprocal opportunities for personal and professional growth. The Bowling-Hoffman concept of

“presence” is the essence of peacemaking. They speak of not just the professional’s presence to

safely contain and diffuse conflict that goes well beyond our physical presence in the room. They

FAMILY COURT REVIEW, Vol. 53 No. 3, July 2015 357–360

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C2015 Association of Family and Conciliation Courts