Patterns That Challenge and Sustain Mutuality as Retired Couples Negotiate Gendered Power

• Published date: 01 February 2020
• Author: Lindsey Nice,Carmen Knudson‐Martin,Aubrey Lough,Nakisha Castillo,Kimberly Doe
• Date: 01 February 2020
• DOI: http://doi.org/10.1111/fare.12399

L N Pacic Lutheran University

C K-M Lewis & Clark College

A L Pacic Lutheran University

N C Brandman University

K D Loma Linda University

Patterns That Challenge and Sustain Mutuality as

Retired Couples Negotiate Gendered Power

Objective: To examine how older, heterosexual

couples negotiate gendered power when both

partners are retired.

Background: After retirement, changes

frequently prompt couples to renegotiate tra-

ditional, gender-informed ways of relating.

Although a shift toward less gender-specic

division of tasks has been identied in previous

studies, it is unclear how underlying gendered

power structures may also be transformed.

Method: A constructivist grounded theory anal-

ysis was conducted of 18 interviews with a

convenience sample of retired older couples

(69–91 years of age) in Southern California.

Results: Three patterns were identied that

kept couples engaged in stereotypic gendered

processes: (a) women’s relational responsi-

bility, (b) masked inequality, and (c) men’s

marketing of traditional gender-specic

processes. In addition, four patterns were

identied that moved couples closer to mutu-

ality: (a) equal attunement to one another, (b)

mutual decision-making, (c) connecting with

socioemotional context, and (d) recognition of

inequality.

Marriage and Family Therapy, Pacic Lutheran University,

12180 Park AveS, Tacoma, WA 98447 (nicela@plu.edu).

KeyWords: communication patterns, couple therapy,gender,

older adults, power,retirement.

Conclusion: Retired couples seeking relational

help may be experiencing a gap between ideals

of mutuality and the persistence of gendered

power.

Implications: This study shows that gendered

power dynamics may be somewhat masked

among older couples. Practitioners are advised

to address the subtle ways that relational

dynamics may remain gendered and the extent

to which that limits closeness and connection

within the relationship. Specic areas therapists

should explore with clients are provided.

Although older adults are one of the fastest

growing populations in the United States

(National Institutes of Health, 2016), research on

this group is limited and often focuses on health

issues and caregiving rather than relational

dynamics between partners (Lambert-Shute &

Fruhauf, 2011). In addition, relational expec-

tations continue to shift as egalitarian ideals

become a cultural norm (Sullivan-Blum, 2006).

Heterosexual couples often nd themselves

with the goal of mutuality—that is, sustained

reciprocal openness, vulnerability, and equal

status (Horst & Doherty, 1995)—but without

direction on how to achieve it (Gerson, 2010;

Knudson-Martin & Mahoney, 2005). This may

be especially true for older heterosexual couples

that experienced different cultural messages

Family Relations 69 (February 2020): 195–206 195

DOI:10.1111/fare.12399