Parent–Child Estrangement: Conditions for Disclosure and Perceived Social Network Member Reactions

AuthorKristina M. Scharp
DOIhttp://doi.org/10.1111/fare.12219
Published date01 December 2016
Date01 December 2016
K M. S Utah State University
Parent–Child Estrangement: Conditions for
Disclosure and Perceived Social Network Member
Reactions
Disclosing a family disruption like estrange-
ment might be an important rst step in gar-
nering supportive communication, yet disclo-
sure also might come with costs. Grounded in
the disclosure literatures, this study illuminates
the conditions under which adult children dis-
close estrangement from parents to their social
networks and the perceived reactions of social
network members to such disclosures. Findings
from a thematic analysis of 52 narrative inter-
views reveal that adult children go to great
lengths to keep their estrangement private, but
disclose (a) when others witnessed conict, (b)
when asked, (c) when disclosure was indirect,
and (d) when (they perceived) it would bene-
t others. Reactions to disclosure were rarely
ambivalent, and adult children primarily felt
unsupported by their network. Practical appli-
cations are discussed.
This sounds really horrible to say, but it would be
a lot easier if they were just dead rather than try
to explain . . . because how do you explain that to
an 8-year-old, that “your grandparents aren’t good
Department of Languages, Philosophy, and Communication
Studies, Utah State University, 0720 Old Main Hill, Logan,
UT 84322 (kristina.scharp@gmail.com).
KeyWords: Disclosure,estrangement, parent–child relation-
ships, social networks.
people.” Knowing that she [8-year-old daughter]
is going to say, “But you are their son.”
—Jon (Interview 38)
Family estrangement, which occurs when at
least one family member voluntarily and inten-
tionally distances him- or herself from another
because of an ongoing negative relationship
(Scharp, 2014, 2016), is “widespread, perhaps
nearly as common as divorce in some segments
of society” (Conti, 2015, p. 34). The distance is
often meant to sever the relationship, or at least
create boundaries intended to last for extended
periods (Galvin, 2014; Scharp, 2016). Given
the presumed lifelong nature of parent–child
relationships (see Hess, 2000), estrangement
between parents and children is an important life
rupture (Agllias, 2011).
In addition to being a major disruption,
research suggests that parent–child estrange-
ment is a particularly stigmatizing process
for both parents and children (Agllias, 2011,
2013; Scharp & Thomas, 2016). To add to
what we know about the parents’ perspective
(Agllias, 2011, 2013; see also Agllias, 2016b),
the present study focuses on the experience of
adult children. One explanation for the stigma
adult children experience might be related to the
reasons they give for the estrangement, which
include being grossly neglected or being the
victim of some form of psychological, physical,
or sexual abuse (see Agllias, 2016a; Scharp,
Thomas, & Paxman, 2015). Another reason
for discomfort is that adult children have to
688 Family Relations 65 (December 2016): 688–700
DOI:10.1111/fare.12219

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