Parent–Child Estrangement: Conditions for Disclosure and Perceived Social Network Member Reactions

• Author: Kristina M. Scharp
• DOI: http://doi.org/10.1111/fare.12219
• Published date: 01 December 2016
• Date: 01 December 2016

K M. S Utah State University

Parent–Child Estrangement: Conditions for

Disclosure and Perceived Social Network Member

Reactions

Disclosing a family disruption like estrange-

ment might be an important rst step in gar-

nering supportive communication, yet disclo-

sure also might come with costs. Grounded in

the disclosure literatures, this study illuminates

the conditions under which adult children dis-

close estrangement from parents to their social

networks and the perceived reactions of social

network members to such disclosures. Findings

from a thematic analysis of 52 narrative inter-

views reveal that adult children go to great

lengths to keep their estrangement private, but

disclose (a) when others witnessed conict, (b)

when asked, (c) when disclosure was indirect,

and (d) when (they perceived) it would bene-

t others. Reactions to disclosure were rarely

ambivalent, and adult children primarily felt

unsupported by their network. Practical appli-

cations are discussed.

This sounds really horrible to say, but it would be

a lot easier if they were just dead rather than try

to explain . . . because how do you explain that to

an 8-year-old, that “your grandparents aren’t good

Department of Languages, Philosophy, and Communication

Studies, Utah State University, 0720 Old Main Hill, Logan,

UT 84322 (kristina.scharp@gmail.com).

KeyWords: Disclosure,estrangement, parent–child relation-

ships, social networks.

people.” Knowing that she [8-year-old daughter]

is going to say, “But you are their son.”

—Jon (Interview 38)

Family estrangement, which occurs when at

least one family member voluntarily and inten-

tionally distances him- or herself from another

because of an ongoing negative relationship

(Scharp, 2014, 2016), is “widespread, perhaps

nearly as common as divorce in some segments

of society” (Conti, 2015, p. 34). The distance is

often meant to sever the relationship, or at least

create boundaries intended to last for extended

periods (Galvin, 2014; Scharp, 2016). Given

the presumed lifelong nature of parent–child

relationships (see Hess, 2000), estrangement

between parents and children is an important life

rupture (Agllias, 2011).

In addition to being a major disruption,

research suggests that parent–child estrange-

ment is a particularly stigmatizing process

for both parents and children (Agllias, 2011,

2013; Scharp & Thomas, 2016). To add to

what we know about the parents’ perspective

(Agllias, 2011, 2013; see also Agllias, 2016b),

the present study focuses on the experience of

adult children. One explanation for the stigma

adult children experience might be related to the

reasons they give for the estrangement, which

include being grossly neglected or being the

victim of some form of psychological, physical,

or sexual abuse (see Agllias, 2016a; Scharp,

Thomas, & Paxman, 2015). Another reason

for discomfort is that adult children have to

688 Family Relations 65 (December 2016): 688–700

DOI:10.1111/fare.12219