PARENTAL ALIENATION AND THE DYNAMICS OF THE ENMESHED PARENT–CHILD DYAD: ADULTIFICATION, PARENTIFICATION, AND INFANTILIZATION

• Author: Benjamin D. Garber
• Date: 01 April 2011
• DOI: http://doi.org/10.1111/j.1744-1617.2011.01374.x
• Published date: 01 April 2011

PARENTAL ALIENATION AND THEDYNAMICS OFTHE

ENMESHED PARENT–CHILD DYAD:ADULTIFICATION,

PARENTIFICATION, ANDINFANTILIZATION

Benjamin D. Garber

When caregivers conflict, systemic alliances shift and healthy parent-child roles can be corrupted. The present paper describes

three forms of role corruption which can occur within the enmeshed dyad and as the common complement of alienation and

estrangement. These include the child who is prematurely promoted to serve as a parent’s ally and partner, the child who is

inducted into service as the parent’s caregiver, and the child whose development is inhibited by a parent who needs to be

needed. These dynamics—adultification, parentification and infantilization, respectively—are each illustrated with brief case

material. Familylaw professionals and clinicians alike are encouraged to conceptualize these dynamics as they occur within an

imbalanced family system and thereby to craft interventions which intend to re-establishhealthy roles. Some such interventions

are reviewed and presented as one part of the constellation of services necessary for the triangulated child.

Keywords: Adultification;Parentification;Infantilization;Alienation;Estrangement;Divorce;Custody

I. INTRODUCTION

The construct most commonly accepted today as “parental alienation” has survived a fascinating

history. Its gradual evolution from its roots in English Common Law has been well documented

elsewhere (Garber, 1996, 2004a, 2009; Jaffe,Ashbourne & Mamo, 2010) and continues in the present

under the unrelenting pressures of politics (Bernet, 2008, 2010; National Organization of Women,

2006; Parental Alienation Awareness Organization, 2009), case law (e.g., Bala, Hunt & McCarney,

2010; Colman, 2009), theory (e.g., Gardner, 1987, 2003, 2004; Johnston, Roseby & Kuehnle, 2009)

and uncountable parents’ desperate pleas on behalf of their children.fcre_1374322..335

The present paper propounds a systemic view of alienation, focusing on the nature and types of the

enmeshed parent-child dyad as concomitants (if not among the many causes) of the child’s rejection

of the other parent. Adultification, parentification and infantilization are introduced and differentiated

as three of the dynamics characteristic of these dyads. Brief case examples illustrate each and their

likely role associated with the child’s rejection of the other parent. Specific remedies are recom-

mended as necessary components of the constellation of interventions intended to serve the best

interests of the alienated child.

II.WHAT IS ALIENATION?

This discussion presumes an understanding of alienation consistent with the “alienated child”

construct (Johnston, 2005b; Kelly & Johnston, 2001) and built upon a foundation in family systems

(Minuchin, 1974) and attachment theories (Bowlby, 1982, 1988; Garber, 2004a; Hooper, 2007).

Specifically, I use the word “alienation” to describe the convergence of relationship dynamics which

together cause an individual to express unjustifiable and disproportionately negative reactions to a

targeted individual. By contrast, when such negative reactions are objectively defensible and propor-

tionate to the targeted individual’s real threat, the same behaviors constitute estrangement (Drozd &

Olesen, 2004; Fidler & Bala, 2010).1Together, alienation and estrangement are two among the several

Correspondence: papaben@HealthyParent.com

FAMILY COURT REVIEW,Vol. 49 No. 2, April 2011 322–335

© 2011 Association of Familyand Conciliation Cour ts