Older Adult Descriptions of Living Apart Together

• Author: Marilyn Coleman,Jacquelyn J. Benson
• DOI: http://doi.org/10.1111/fare.12203
• Published date: 01 July 2016
• Date: 01 July 2016

J J. B  M C University of Missouri

Older Adult Descriptions of Living Apart Together

Much can be learned about the nature and

meaning of close relationships by studying lan-

guage use. This qualitative study explores the

process of dening relationships and choosing

partner reference terms among an understudied

population—living apart together (LAT) cou-

ples in older adulthood. Twenty-ve men and

women aged 60 years and older were inter-

viewed about their LAT relationships. Grounded

theory analyses demonstrated that participants

chose terms by trial and error through a pro-

cess of meaning making. Terms associated

with youth culture (e.g., girlfriend, boyfriend)

were spurned, although they were commonly

used for lack of age-appropriate alternatives.

Participants dened LAT by drawing contrasts

to dating and marital relationships. Practical

implications and future directions for research

are discussed.

The family life cycle has become more varied

in the United States since the mid-20th cen-

tury. The overall marriage rate has gradually

declined in recent decades and divorce rates

reached a plateau in the 1980s. The divorce rate

among adults aged 50 and older, however, has

doubled since 1990. This trend, coupled with

longer life expectancy, has resulted in many

adults forming new partnerships in later life (Wu

& Schimmele, 2007). Many of these new part-

nerships among divorced and widowed older

Department of Human Development and Family Science,

University of Missouri, 314 Gentry Hall, Columbia, MO

65211 (bensonjj@missouri.edu).

Key Words: Couple/marital/romantic relationships, fam-

ily communication and interaction, family relationships,

grounded theory,later-life families.

adults involve remarriage or cohabiting rela-

tionships; however, a phenomenon called liv-

ing apart together (LAT)—an intimate couple

relationship without a shared residence—is gain-

ing visibility as an alternative form of commit-

ted (re)partnering (Benson & Coleman, 2016;

Strohm, Seltzer, Cochran, & Mays, 2009).

The term LAT rst originated in the Nether-

lands in 1978 to describe committed partners

who live apart (Levin & Trost, 1999). A body

of literature has since emerged on LAT relation-

ships among younger adults, but research on

LAT relationships in older adulthood remains

scant (Ghazanfareeon Karlsson & Borell, 2002).

The LATresearch that does exist on older adults

originated primarily in Canada and Europe,

and it has suggested that older couples are

increasingly opting for this arrangement over

cohabitation or remarriage. For example, the

percentage of LAT among Canadian adults

aged 60 and older increased by one-third from

2001 to 2011 (Turcotte, 2013), and by 65%

among Dutch adults aged 50–64 from 2003

to 2013 (de Jong Gierveld, 2015). No data

exist on the prevalence of LAT among older

adults in the United States. However, a growing

number of articles and books published on the

topic in the popular press suggest that LAT is

becoming more common in the United States

(ABC News, 2006; Augustin, 2013; Joel, 2013;

Krishnan, 2013; Levy, 2013; Moggach, 2013;

Rosenblum, 2013).

L 

Why Live Apart Together? The Benets of LAT

for Older Adults

Older adults living in LAT relationships have

reported that doing so helps stave off loneliness

Family Relations 65 (July 2016): 439–449 439

DOI:10.1111/fare.12203