Obama's year one: a report card.

• Author: Durst, Will
• Position: Off the Map

When asked how he thought his first year as the forty-fourth President of the United States had gone, Barack Obama gave himself a B+. To say that some other parties have been less enthusiastic is like saying Tiger Woods was unlikely to receive the NOW Man of the Year Award. Although the Divorce Lawyers of America could probably be coerced into throwing in a testimonial or two.

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Admittedly, there are three camps in the whole "How Has Obama Done So Far?" debate: the right, which has been calling for impeachment since about this time last year; the independents, who think the jury is still out; and the left, which can be spied wearing their disappointment like dented chain mail on returning Crusaders.

Granted, history will be the ultimate adjudicator, and you'd have to be a fool to judge an entire Presidency based on twelve months, but this particular fool thinks it's not only instructional but also a lot of fun to produce a quarter-term report card, so here goes.

English . B+. Good understanding of vocabulary words, and able to use them correctly. Huge upgrade from previous student. Nice having a President who, when he speaks with a foreign leader, the other guy isn't more eloquent in English as a second language.

Geography . A+. Visited more countries in first year than any other President in history. Of course, most of that travel was necessary to rebuild the few hundred bridges that had been torched by a predecessor who shall remain unnamed.

Physics . C. Seems unable to grasp rudimentary concepts like how every action that affects Congress will have an equal and opposite and most often totally disastrous reaction.

Mathematics . Incomplete. Seems to be working with malfunctioning abacus. Further review by Professors Bernanke and Geithner not expected to help much.

Semantics . B+. Is a conscientious worker. No matter what you think of his policies, you have to admire his ability not to get involved in them.

Spanish . Incomplete. Discussed security with Mexican President Calderon at the same time college administrators were warning students not to take spring break south of the border due to...