Not a fine "whine".

• Author: Cortes, Ivana
• Position: Life in America

"BUT MOOOOOOM, I don't waaaaaaanna" "Why caaaan't I have a snaaaaaack?" "That's not faaaaaiiiiir!" (Did just reading those phrases make your skin crawl?) As any parent can confirm, whining is one of the most irritating sounds on earth--literally. In fact, a recent study confirms that whining has more power to distract (men, women, parents, and nonparents alike) than the screech of a table saw snagged on a piece of wood, or even the cries of an infant. The coauthors of the study believe that whining is an evolutionary mechanism. Much like a siren or alarm, whining gets your attention. Since you cannot ignore it and remain productive, you are forced to put things aside and see if anything actually is wrong.

Evolutionary roots or not, though, you do not have to grit your teeth and put up with this grating tone of voice. There are proven tactics you can use to keep whining (more or less) at bay. You never will eradicate whining in your household entirely--even adults do it to one degree or another. However, the peak "whine years" are from two and one-half to four years old. This coincides with the age when children first attempt to communicate with words, and tapers off when they begin to have command of language and self-expression.

In other words, annoying as it is, whining often is your child trying to tell you something. That does not mean you should respond to every whimper but, you can, and should, use whining episodes to teach your child more productive communication habits. There is a balance between addressing your child's real needs and redirecting unwanted behavior. Having a solid strategy for teaching your children good communication skills as early as possible will work wonders for your sanity and set your children on the road to successful communications throughout life.

Here are tips to help minimize whining while giving your little ones more "grownup" tools to ask for what they want:

Be consistent. For all humans--regardless of age--almost any behavior will be repeated if there is a payoff and, over time, repeated behavior becomes a habit. Yes, I admit, at one time or another, we all reach the point where we are willing to hand over the candy bar or buy a particular toy just to make the whining stop but you have to remember, if whining sometimes works and sometimes does not, you will keep hearing it. In fact, children usually will go for the "maybe payoff' loophole and whine more often in hopes of getting their way.

Mixed...