Not alone: Family experiences across the life course of single, baby boom sexual‐minority women

• Published date: 01 February 2023
• Author: Erin S. Lavender‐Stott,Katherine R. Allen
• Date: 01 February 2023
• DOI: http://doi.org/10.1111/fare.12721

RESEARCH

Not alone: Family experiences across the life course

of single, baby boom sexual-minority women

Erin S. Lavender-Stott

1

|Katherine R. Allen

2

1

School of Education, Counseling, & Human

Development, South Dakota State University,

Brookings, SD

2

Department of Human Development and

Family Science, Virginia Tech,

Blacksburg, VA

Correspondence

Erin S. Lavender-Stott, School of Education,

Counseling, & Human Development, Box

507, Wenona Hall 202, South Dakota State

University, Brookings, SD 57007, USA.

Email: erin.lavenderstott@sdstate.edu

Funding information

The authors received no financial support for

the research, authorship, and/or publication of

this article.

Abstract

Objective: As older LGBTQ+people are less likely to be

married than non-LGBTQ+peers and historically may

have been disconnected from their families of origin, the

aim of this study was to understand the family life of single

sexual minority women of the baby boom cohort through-

out their lives.

Background: Singlehood, in general, has meant not being

in a heterosexual—or legally recognized—relationship;

thus women in same-sex relationships historically were

considered single. As women gained more rights, single

and lesbian, bisexual, and queer women have gained

opportunities to live outside heterosexual marriage, finan-

cially and with regard to social acceptability. Women of

the baby boom cohort, born between 1946 and 1964, came

of age during this societal shift.

Method: Framed by feminist and life course perspectives,

this study was qualitative, used semistructured interviews,

and was guided by a constructivist paradigm and thematic

analysis to understand how 13 older sexual minority

women perceived family.

Findings: The women noted their connection to family of

origin, then romantic relationships and partners, and cur-

rently, identify family as including biological, adopted,

and chosen kin.

Conclusion: Single LBQ women of the baby boom cohort

have relational resources through friends as family, biolog-

ical kin, legal kin, and creating community.

Implications: More expansive understandings of family,

including chosen family and invisible kin, comprise the

support networks of older women who have lived outside

heteronormativity.

Author note We thank Rachel Farr for her helpful comments and support on an earlier draft of this manuscript. This resear ch was

approved by Virginia Tech IRB # 16-890.

Received: 22 March 2021Revised: 19 January 2022Accepted: 5 March 2022

DOI: 10.1111/fare.12721

© 2022 National Council on Family Relations.

140 Family Relations. 2023;72:140–158.wileyonlinelibrary.com/journal/fare

KEYWORDS

bisexual, family, lesbian, queer, relationships, singlehood

Historically, women in same-sex relationships were considered single because their relationships

were not recognized legally or socially (Franzen, 1996). By the end of the 20th century, despite

the societal pressure to marry, women had more opportunity to live outside heterosexual mar-

riage and on their own terms if they were financially independent (Coontz, 2005;

Faderman, 1991). This option became more feasible as women joined the paid labor force,

moved outside their family of origin’s home, and relocated, giving them freedom from constant

family surveillance. There are currently two discourses regarding singlehood—legal singlehood

(i.e., not married, no domestic partnership or civil union) and social singlehood (not in a

romantic or committed relationship; Morris et al., 2007).

LIFELONG FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS

Families, traditionally defined by legal or biological ties such as marriage, biological parent-

hood, or adoption, are foundational for human development, providing lifelong sources ofeco-

nomic, educational, social, and emotional support (Allen & Roberto, 2016; Heaphy, 2009).

Positive family relationships are especially important in later life because older adults (i.e., ages

65 and over) often rely on family members for care (Scherrer & Fedor, 2015), and social rela-

tionships are important for older adults to avoid social isolation and loneliness, thus bolstering

emotional support, sense of belonging, and embeddedness in community, as well as broader

health and well-being (Thomeer et al., 2021; Torres & Lacy, 2021). Sexual minority individuals

have often turned to friends and the broader LGBTQ+community, creatively converting them

to family of choice, or kin-like relationships (Allen et al., 2011; Gabrielson, 2011;

Weston, 1991). More scholarship is needed on older sexual minority women regarding family,

social support, and thoughts on aging, as much of the research on older adults has focused on

health disparities including those related to loneliness (e.g., Fredriksen-Goldsen et al., 2013;

Hsieh & Liu, 2021), housing challenges (e.g., Sullivan, 2014), and social care networks through

families of choice (e.g., Muraco & Fredriksen-Goldsen, 2011). Additionally, research on fami-

lies of sexual and gender minorities (SGM) have predominantly focused on partnerships and

parenting rather than family dynamics of single SGM adults (Reczek, 2020). In particular,

much of the lived experiences of SGM’s family formation pathways have been overlooked

beyond becoming parents and the assumptions of disconnection from families of origin and

minimal intersectional understandings of sexual minority families (Mackenzie, 2021;

Reczek, 2020).

SGM OLDER ADULTS

Much of the SGM older adult literature argues that these older adults are not connected to fam-

ilies of origin, they are not partnered or married, and most likely do not have children

(e.g., Gabrielson, 2011; Hsieh & Liu, 2021). In turn, this literature proposes that strained rela-

tionships, a lack of relationships, and a lack of acceptance from family members and society

compels SGM individuals to seek alternative sources of support and relationships (i.e., family

of choice; Torres & Lacy, 2021). However, the literature also predominantly encompasses older

adults across birth cohorts, thus lacking the sociohistorical context (King et al., 2019; for an

exception, see Meyer, 2018). Additionally, in a 2016 study of LGB individuals in the

United States (Meyer & Krueger, 2019), 62% of those aged 52 to 59 (part of the baby boom

FAMILY EXPERIENCES OF SINGLE, BABY BOOM

SEXUAL-MINORITY WOMEN

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