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Spin Doctor Supremo

White House Press Secretary Ari Fleischer compared the hush-hush, back-room nature of Dick Cheney's energy panel to the writing of the Constitution. "The very document that protects our liberties more than anything else, the Constitution, was of course drafted in secrecy," he said.

Money for Nothing

New York Times columnist Paul Krugman defended the $50,000 he received as an adviser to Enron with this ethical gem: "This was an advisory panel that had no function I was aware of," Krugman told the Times.

Running from Duty

The eight-man police department in Penryn, Pennsylvania, refused the job of directing traffic at the annual YMCA triathlon. Why? Because the Y promotes witchcraft by reading Harry Potter books to children. "As long as we don't stand up, it won't stop," said Captain Robert Fichthorn, who sent a letter to the organization questioning its religious integrity.

Pop! Goes the Weasel

In The Wall Street Journal, former political guru turned Fox commentator Dick Morris wondered why one of his former clients, Bill Clinton, was "strangely uninterested" in terrorism during the 1996 election: "Even as he fretted about whether to sign the welfare reform act and brooded about the FBI file, Paula Jones, and Whitewater scandals, he seemed curiously uninvolved in the battle against terrorism."

Your Tax Money at Work

Attorney General Ashcroft spent $8,000 on drapes because he couldn't bear to be photographed in front of two partially nude statues in the Great Hall of the Department of Justice. One statue represents the Spirit of Justice and has a single breast completely exposed.

Your Tax Laws at Work

Two Florida international University finance professors have calculated that multinational corporations avoided $45 billion in taxes in 2000 by fixing prices for transactions with their foreign affiliates. The study, based on U.S. Department of Commerce data, offered an example of a corporation exporting a $5,000 toothbrush and importing a $528 bulldozer.

Sweet and Sour Pork

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