New Year's limericks aimed at the left.

• Position: YOUR LIFE - Poetry

"In clear violation of op-ed protocol, I am suspending the normal end-of-the-year prose and having a little good, clean, limericky fun at liberals' expense because ... well ... they just make it so darn easy," says Matt Barber, author, columnist, cultural analyst, attorney, and vice president of Liberty Counsel Action, Forest, Va. "Here they are in no particular order."

Duck Flap. There once was a fellow named Phil / With truisms liberals found shrill / Though they cried for his head / They got duck-slapped instead / As old Phil just continues to chill.

GLAAD Tidings. There once was an outfit called GLAAD / That when faced with the truth gets real mad / Though they pout and they fuss / And they stomp and they cuss / They alter the truth not a tad.

Low Ratings. MSNBC is on cable / Spinning news, weaving yarns and tall fables / With an agenda from Sodom / And ratings rock bottom / They have hosts that are questionably stable.

Occupy This. Occupy Wall Street did sizzle / But in 2013 it did fizzle / As we all remained patient / They returned to mom's basement / With outrage that proved artificial.

Gay Marriage. The Supreme Court did redefine marriage / And defenders of marriage disparage / Newfound "right" they pretend / Has Stephan to wed Sven / Yet no Sally means no baby carriage.

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