A NEW CONVERSATION WITH MEN.

AuthorTaylor, Michael
PositionLIFE IN AMERICA - Excerpt

IT IS MY FERVENT BELIEF that men are frustrated, tired, and hungry. They are frustrated because they are trapped in an old paradigm that no longer works--searching for new and better ways to exist as a man, yet they have failed in this search. They do not know where to turn, and are becoming desperate for a new way of being and relating as men.

They are tired of watching their families fall apart, their health deteriorate, and their wallets be emptied by divorce, materialism, and senseless addictions that rob them not only of their money, but their self-esteem and dignity. They are hungry to end the emptiness and feelings of meaninglessness in their soul that tells them that there has to be another way to exist--yet they do not know how to change.

So, where and how do we begin? The first step in resolving any problem is to admit there is one. At first glance, it appears men might be the problem. We are inundated constantly with negative news stories of men behaving badly--stories of domestic violence, sexual assault, infidelity, and the #MeToo movement. Tales concerning "toxic masculinity" fill our airwaves on a daily basis.

As women continue to make great strides, the roles of manhood are changing quickly and dramatically. For instance, for the first time in this country's history, women outnumber men in the workforce, and there now are more women graduating from college than men. These changing roles are redefining what it means to be a man and, for too many men, this is an unwelcome change.

There are five beliefs/illusions that men hold onto that cause the overwhelming majority of pain and suffering in their lives. In order to break free, a man first must become aware that they even exist.

Men must be unemotional and disconnected. Males are conditioned from a very young age not to feel. We are given the messages that to have feelings and express them somehow is weak, or worse, feminine. We all have heard the comments: big boys don't cry; stop being a baby; don't act like such a sissy. So, we shut down our emotions; we stop expressing how we feel, and begin expressing what we think. Of course, there is absolutely nothing wrong with thinking. Using our intellect is an integral and necessary aspect of our humanity but, without our emotions, we become empty, hollow automatons who miss out on the most-important part of our lives.

Men must have money and material possessions. Too many of us believe that, if we just buy the right house, the...

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