Never too old to learn--or keep learning.

• Author: Chavez, Shannon
• Position: Psychology - Sex education

DESPITE the constant bombardment of messages on sex and so-called sexual norms, the majority of people find that sex education is lacking and there is a yearning for learning. Most of the information we hear as we grow up is limited and takes into account what not to do in sexual relationships. Then, of course, there is the misinformation received along the way. What we do know is that learning about our sexuality is a lifelong process. From the time we are born, we learn about love, affection, touch, and our bodies. As we develop, we continue to receive messages about our sexuality from many sources, including family, social environment, school-based programs, religion, and culture. The majority of messages create shame and fear with negative consequences of sexual behavior outside of these norms rather than a focus on pleasure, passion, and building intimate relationships.

Sex education is not constructed for adults dealing with problems related to finding satisfying, pleasurable, safe, meaningful, and enriching sexual experiences and relationships. As we evolve through life, we are faced with new sexual concerns and issues. There is constant growth in adult relationships. The body changes, medical difficulties emerge, and variation develops in sexual needs and desires as we embark on new responsibilities and roles. Without the proper resources and information, it can cause confusion, distress, and unhappiness.

Sex education, as we know it, either is designed for ages five to 17 in school-based programs or provided by sensational articles in popular magazines and other media outlets by anyone but qualified sex educators. The inaccurate and confusing information leaves adults feeling unsupported and lacking in sexual knowledge, resources, and self-esteem.

Most medical research that looks to establish sexual function norms is not done on a larger scale of the general population. Statistics will show large numbers of sexual concerns and issues leaving individuals asking: am I normal?

Cultural norms influence sexuality by messages on how often one should have sex and the nature of sexual response directly impacting a person's individual expectations. For women, sexual scripts have shifted. Women now are expected to have a similar sexual response in respect to arousal and orgasm as men. The term sexual script refers to cultural messages that transmit information to individuals about a culture's sexual values. These scripts act as guidelines for sexual experience and behavior. Cultural values around virginity, abstaining from sexual behavior until marriage, high sex drive expectations for men, and double standards for sexual conduct for men and women are just a few.

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