My Pride and Joy? Predicting Favoritism and Disfavoritism in Mother–Adult Child Relations

• Published date: 01 August 2016
• Author: Karl Pillemer,Gulcin Con,Siyun Peng,Marissa Rurka,J. Jill Suitor,Megan Gilligan
• Date: 01 August 2016
• DOI: http://doi.org/10.1111/jomf.12288

J. J S Purdue University

M G Iowa State University∗

S P, G C,  M R Purdue University∗∗

K P Cornell University∗∗∗

My Pride and Joy? Predicting Favoritism

and Disfavoritism in Mother–Adult Child Relations

In this article, we compare predictors of moth-

ers’ differentiation among their adult children

regarding emotional closeness, pride, conict,

and disappointment. We distinguish between

predictors of relational (closeness, conict)

and evaluative (pride, disappointment) dimen-

sions of favoritism and disfavoritism. Multilevel

modeling using data collected from 381 older

mothers regardingtheir relationships with 1,421

adult children indicated that adult children’s

similarity of values played the most prominent

role in predicting mothers’ favoritism and

disfavoritism, followed by children’s gender.

Children’s deviant behaviors in adulthood

predicted both pride and disappointment but

neither relational dimension. Contrary to expec-

tations, the quantitative analysis indicated that

children’s normative adult achievements were

Department of Sociology, Purdue University, Stone Hall,

West Lafayette, IN 47907 (jsuitor@purdue.edu).

∗Human Development and Family Studies, Iowa State

University,2330 Palmer HDFS Building, Ames, IA 50011.

∗∗Department of Sociology, Purdue University,West

Lafayette, IN.

∗∗∗Human Development and Family Studies G-43 MVR

Hall, Cornell University,Ithaca, NY 14853.

This article was edited by Linda Waite.

Key Words: adult children, older adults,parental favoritism,

parent–child relations.

poor predictors of both relationaland evaluative

dimensions of mothers’ differentiation. Qual-

itative data shed additional light on mothers’

evaluations by revealing that disappointment

was shaped by children’s achievements relative

to their mothers’ values and expectations, rather

than by the achievement of specic societal,

educational, career, and marital milestones.

B

The role of within-family differences in the

relationship between parents and their young

children has been of substantial interest to devel-

opmental psychologists since the early 1980s

(Jenkins, Rasbash, Leckie, Gass, & Dunn, 2012;

McHale, Updegraff, Jackson-Newsom, Tucker,

& Crouter, 2000; Shanahan, McHale, Crouter,&

Osgood, 2008; Suitor, Sechrist, Plikuhn, Pardo,

& Pillemer, 2008). This literature has revealed

substantial differences among parent–adult child

dyads within the same family. In particular, the

overwhelming majority of both mothers and

fathers have been found to differentiate among

their children across a wide range of relational

dimensions, including parental closeness and

investment of time and resources as well as con-

trol and discipline (Feinberg & Hetherington,

2001; McHale, Updegraff, Tucker, & Crouter,

2000; Richmond, Stocker, & Rienks, 2005;

Shanahan et al., 2008).

This line of research has documented that

children’s perceptions of parental differential

908 Journal of Marriage and Family 78 (August 2016): 908–925

DOI:10.1111/jomf.12288

Maternal Favoritism and Disfavoritism in Adulthood 909

treatment (PDT), particularly negative differ-

ential treatment, are associated with decreased

well-being (Feinberg & Hetherington, 2001;

McHale, Updegraff, Tucker, & Crouter, 2000;

Richmond et al., 2005; Shanahan et al., 2008).

Research on young adults has revealed simi-

larly negative effects of perceptions of parental

favoritism and disfavoritism on psychological

well-being (Jensen, Whiteman, Fingerman, &

Birditt, 2013; Young & Ehrenberg, 2007).

Research over the past decade has revealed

that such within-family differentiation also

occurs in later-life families and has important

consequences for adult children’s psycholog-

ical well-being and for the quality of sibling

relations. Specically, the perception that par-

ents favor one child over another in adulthood

is associated with higher depressive symptoms

among adult children (Pillemer, Suitor, Pardo,&

Henderson, 2010; Suitor, Gilligan, Peng, Jung,

& Pillemer, 2015) as well as greater conict and

less closeness among siblings (Boll, Ferring,

& Filipp, 2005; Gilligan, Suitor, Kim, & Pille-

mer, 2013; Suitor et al., 2009; Suitor, Gilligan,

Johnson, & Pillemer, 2014). Further, there is

evidence that perceptions of disfavoritism, such

as some offspring being perceived as having

greater conict with parents or being the chil-

dren in whom mothers are most disappointed,

is also associated with higher depressive symp-

toms (Pillemer et al., 2010; Suitor et al., 2015).

Data collected from both mothers and adult

children have shown that such patterns of moth-

ers’ reported favoritism and adult children’s

perceptions of favoritism tend to be relatively

stable over time (Suitor, Gilligan, & Pillemer,

2013), which suggests that maternal differential

treatment in adulthood may play an important

role in relational and psychological well-being.

It appears that recollections of favoritism and

disfavoritism from childhood also affect both

psychological well-being (Davey, Tucker, Fin-

german, & Savla, 2009) and sibling relations

(Suitor et al., 2009). Taken together, this body

of research shows that parental favoritism is a

salient factor in adult children’s well-being and

sibling relations in adulthood.

The purpose of this article is to expand the

study of parental differentiation in the later years

by comparing predictors of mothers’ reports

of favoritism and disfavoritism regarding their

adult children. In particular, we compare predic-

tors of mothers’ reports of offspring to whom

they are most emotionally close and in whom

F . C  D 

M D.

PositiveNegative

Relational Emotional closeness Conict

EvaluativePride Disappointment

they havethe most pride to those with whom they

have the greatest conict and in whom they

are most disappointed. Beyond distinguishing

between favoritism and disfavoritism, we also

distinguish between what we dene as relational

and evaluative dimensions of favoritism and

disfavoritism.

As Figure 1 shows, we conceptualize emo-

tional closeness and conict to be socioemo-

tional characteristics of the parent–adult child

relationship. Thus, when mothers differenti-

ate on these dimensions, they are considering

the quality of the relationship. Therefore, we

designate these as “relational” dimensions of

favoritism and disfavoritism. In contrast, we

conceptualize pride and disappointment to

be assessments of mothers’ satisfaction and

dissatisfaction with their children’s progress

toward goals held to be important by their

mothers (Lazarus, 2006; Ryff, Schmutte, & Lee,

1996). Thus, we designate these as “evaluative”

dimensions of favoritism and disfavoritism. We

consider the distinction between relational and

evaluative dimensions of parental favoritism

and disfavoritism to be important in attempts

to understand both the predictors and the

consequences of parental differentiation.

To explore these issues, we use a combina-

tion of quantitative and qualitativedata collected

from 381 older mothers regarding their relation-

ships with 1,417 adult children, collected as part

of the second wave of the Within-Family Dif-

ferences Study. Our rationale for this approach

is that although quantitative analyses can iden-

tify patterns of associations among constructs,

qualitative data are more useful for understand-

ing the processes underlying statistical rela-

tionships (Creswell & Clark, 2010). Inclusion

of both methods is especially the case when

the focus is on complex patterns, as in the

case of multigenerational ties within families

(Neal, Hammer, & Morgan, 2006; Plano Clark,

Huddleston-Casas, Churchill, O’Neil Green, &

Garrett, 2008).