My path to law. Finding my voice

• Author: Haley Moss
• Pages: 12-13

ABA JOURNAL | SEPTEMBER–OCTOBER 2019

12

Inter Alia | MY PATH TO LAW

the worst-case sce nario, the so- called

negativity bias.

The next time you are fe eling

anxious, ta ke a step back and look at

the thoughts that are t riggering the

anxiety. Chance s are, you are only

rehearsing the di rest outcome, overlook-

ing the best-c ase scenario or even more

neutral outcomes.

It’s helpful to see that someone else

in your exact situation may ex perience

a different level of anx iety or even no

anxiety. It’s subjective. In fac t, you could

also be experienci ng this dreaded event

with a different level of an xiety under a

different set of circ umstances. Perhaps

you are more anxious bec ause you re-

cently received an unfavorable review at

work or because you’re sleep-deprived.

The reason why this is i mportant to

recognize is t hat it puts the feelings of

anxiety more w ithin your control. You

may have little or no control over the

outcome of the event, but you can begi n

to see that you do have control over

your own response. Rather t han focus

on trying to  x the uncontrollable or

the unknowable, you can ta ke a gentler

stance toward yourself and fo cus on

changing your respon se by relaxing the

anxious mind .

Anxiet y is a set of thoughts and

physiological respon ses. When I rst

became pregna nt with my daughter, I

experienced an u nprecedented amount

of anxiety. There was simply no way

of knowing whether I would be able to

make it through the 4 0 weeks. Espe-

cially during t he rst trimester, I would

regularly nd mysel f Googling terms like

“likelihood of misc arriage at 35 days.” I

was trying to do the i mpossible—trying

to nd some reassuranc e that I would be

able to deliver a healthy baby. Knowing

that stress was also bad for t he pregnan-

cy only exacerbated the situ ation.

Even though I knew I was only

focusing on the possibi lity of a negative

outcome, assurance s from others to

“think positive” or “not worry” only

added further st ress and frustration.

The practice that I fou nd to be use-

ful was to acknowledge the an xious

thoughts, then sh ift the focus to t he

physiological response.

For example, when the thought “I

am going to lose this baby” would pop

into my head, I would gently label the

thought as an anx ious thought. I would

then do a body scan to note the i mpact

the thought was having on my body.

Often, I was breath ing faster or holding

my breath, and I’d notice a constrict ion

in my stomach.

I would then focus on lett ing go

and relaxing my body. This cou ld be

standing up to change my bo dy posi-

tion, taking som e deep breaths, making

myself a cup of tea or doing some light

stretching.

Change the focus to le t go of anx-

iet y. Even though you may logically

understand that i f you could simply

stop thinki ng the anxiety-producing

thoughts, you’d stop being anxious, tr y-

ing to not think the t houghts isn’t easy.

It’s akin to tryin g to not think of a pin k

elephant.

However, there are practices you

can engage in to get your mi nd to gently

unhook the dist ressing thoughts. One

effective practic e is grounding. There are

#MyPathToLaw is a guest column

that celebrates the diversity of the legal

profession through attorneys’ rst-

person stories detailing their unique

and inspiring trajectories. I

used to think it was easy to identi-

fy young people who would grow

up to become lawyers. They sup -

posedly are the so ciable toddlers

in the playgroup, the smar t aleck who

found a aw in the reasoni ng behind

a teacher’s “because I said so,” the

captain of the speec h and debate team

who could argue any position , the

high school theater k ids who com-

pletely transform into thei r characters

onstage and feel all of t heir emotions,

or the incoming colle ge freshmen

who boldly declare their i ntent to

major in political scienc e and become

a lawyer.

many different ways of doing a grou nd-

ing exercise, but in its ess ence, it’s a tool

used to bring yourself i nto the present

moment using your ve senses —sound,

touch, smell, taste a nd sight.

Next time you’re feeling anx ious, try

the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 ground ing exercise.

5: Find ve things you can se e around

you. Mentally note what you see. For ex-

ample, a red chair, a water faucet, a vas e

of owers, a sliding door and a stool.

4: Look for four thing s you can touch

around you. It could be your left ha nd, a

pen, keyboard and your shi rt.

3: Note three thi ngs you hear. For

example, people talk ing outside your

ofce, a car d riving by or the car radio.

2: Acknowledge two thi ngs you can

smell. Perhaps it’s the bag of potato

chips on your desk or the scent of fabric

softener on your shir t.

1: Acknowledge one thing you can

taste. Can you notice the re sidue avor

of lunch in your mouth?

If your mind retu rns to the anxious

thoughts during t he exercise, gently

return to the exercis e. There’s no

need to berate yourself or get upse t

with yourself.

There are no shortcuts to t raining

the anxious mi nd and to letting go

of worries. But with practi ce, it’s possi-

ble to calm the mind to ex perience

more ease. Q

Jeena Cho consults with Am Law 200

rms on stress management, resiliency

training, mindfulness and meditation.

She co-authored The Anxious Lawyer

and practices bankruptcy law with the

JC Law Group in San Francisco.

MY PATH TO LAW

Finding My Voice

BY HALEY MOSS