My new talk show.

• Author: Douglas, Susan
• Position: Humor - liberal media critiques - Pundit Watch - Column

I have just returned from the National Association of Radio Talk Show Hosts' annual convention, and guess what? I'm getting my own talk show. For real. Here's how it happened.

When Congress passed the Telecom Act of 1996, it deregulated the broadcasting industry. Now one "entity" can own hundreds of radio stations around the country. The argument was that this "freeing up" of the industry would promote diversity on the air.

Well, as the dust is settling, about four huge conglomerates like Jacor and Westinghouse/CBS/Infinity control most of America's radio stations. And sure enough, these conglomerates love diversity. The executives at Jacor looked around and said. "We have too many conservative white men on the air." I said, "Well, what you need is a left-of-center feminist who thinks that media-merger mania is making the coverage of news and current affairs even more shallow and reactionary than it already was." And they said, "What a terrific idea. I'm sure we can get General Electric to sponsor."

We're calling the show Dr. Susan -- Media Babe. I'll be on about 400 stations any day now. There's only one hitch. The sponsors insisted that I can't be too hard on the big boys.

Here's the transcript from the first show.

Rita from Seattle: Hey, Media Babe, don't you think all the bashing of that tabloid rag The Globe for entrapping Frank Gifford into a tryst with a stewardess was a little hypocritical, given that the news magazines themselves are becoming more like the tabloids every day?

Media Babe: Of course not. On Larry King Live, Walter Isaacson from Time insisted there was absolutely no possible comparison between his magazine and those rags because Time would never pay anyone for an interview, and it would never pay a woman $75,000 to have sex with an aging sports announcer -- Time is above pandering to the audience. Time does serious news.

Rita: But Media Babe. there's a disastrous famine in North Korea and a proposed budget deal going through Congress that would engorge the wallets of rich people, slash corporate taxes. and screw everybody else -- and the news magazines could care less. Newsweek has those Kennedy boys who can't keep their flies zipped up on its cover, and the same week Time had an imaginary picture of a space alien on its cover and did ten pages -- count 'em, ten--on "The Roswell Files." I mean, if I want extraterrestrials and celebrity scandals, I can go to the Enquirer, right?

Media Babe: Aw, lighten up Rita. Here's...