My very own monorail: one city's internal battle over the best way to get its cartoonists to and from a baseball game! (Culture and Reviews).

AuthorBagge, Peter
PositionComic - Cartoon

THE VOTERS OF SEATTLE JUST APPROVED--FOR THE FOURTH TIME--A MONORAIL LINE, IN SPITE OF IT'S OPPONENTS' LAST DITCH EFFORT TO KILL THE $1.5 BILLION BOONDOGGLE ONCE AND FOR ALL ...

YOU'D THINK THE PRICE TAG ALONE WOULD BE REASON ENOUGH TO ARGUE AGAINST IT, YET THE OPPOSITION IS AN ODD COLLECTION OF FOLKS WITH ALL SORTS OF AXES TO GRIND ...

MANY OF THE CHARGES AGAINST THE MONORAIL TURNED OUT TO BE EXAGGERATIONS--FABRICATIONS, EVEN--AS WELL AS THE PARANOID RAVINGS OF THOSE WHO FEAR CHANGE OF ANY KIND ...

STILL, IT WAS A NATURAL REACTION TO THE STARK FISCAL REALITIES THAT WERE STARTING TO CLOUD OVER THE SUNNY TO US BY THE MONORAIL'S PROPONENTS ...

THE RELATIVELY "GRASSROOTS" MONORAIL PROJECT WAS ORIGINALLY CONCEIVED AS AN ALTERNATIVE TO A PROPOSED UBER-BOONDOGGLE LIGHT-RAIL LINE (WHICH WE ALSO VOTED FOR, SINCE WE'RE THE BOONDOGGLIEST TOWN ARROUND!).

... AND WE CAN FUND IT WITH A SURCHARGE ON ALL CARS REGISTERED IN THE CITY!

THAT WAY WE'D ALSO BE CREATING A FINANCIAL INCENTIVE TO USE MASS TRANSIT! *

GOOD THINKING!

(REMIND ME TO REGISTER MY CAR IN THE SUBURBS).

* THIS PLAN ENCOURAGES PEOPLE TO SELL THEIR CARS, NOT USE THEM LESS AND IT'S COST ME OVER $100 ALREADY!

MEANWHILE, THE MONORAIL'S OPPONENTS TROTTED OUT THEIR OWN TELEGENIC "EXPERT" ENGINEER, WHOSE FACE FILLED THE AIRWAVES MAKING ALL SORTS OF DIRE CLAIMS ...

A MONORAIL LINE CANNOT RUN AT GRADE OR GO UNDERGROUND ...

THE 90-FOOT STATIONS CAN ONLY ACCOMMODATE 90-FOOT TRAINS ...

CANCELLING IT WILL FREE UP SCARCE REVENUES FOR THE FAR SUPERIOR LIGHT-RAIL PROJECT!

?!

IF THESE CLAIMS ALL SOUND BOGUS TO YOU, THAT'S BECAUSE THEY ARE. BESIDES, NO ONE WANTS THE MONORAIL TO RUN ON OR UNDER THE GROUND! THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT!

THIS GAZILLION-DOLLAR, TOP-DOWN, "PUBLIC-PRIVATE PARTNERSHIP" BLACK HOLE IRONICALLY CALLED "SOUND TRANSIT" ORIGINALLY WAS SUPPOSED TO CONNECT ALL OF THE REGION'S MAIN HUBS WITH LIGHT-RAIL SERVICE...

ONCE IT BECAME APPARENT THAT ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD WOULD BARELY PAY FOR IT, THE "INITIAL PHASE" WAS SCALED BACK TO A LINE THAT'LL RUN FROM DOWNTOWN TO SOME GUY'S HOUSE THAT I DON'T EVEN KNOW. WHAT A WASTE!

THE MONORAIL'S ROUTE, ON THE OTHER HAND, NOT ONLY GOES RIGHT BY MY HOUSE, BUT CONNECTS MANY OF MY FAVORITE DESTINATIONS (ON THOSE RARE OCCASIONS WHEN I ACTUALLY LEAVE THE HOUSE THAT IS)...

NEEDLESS TO SAY, THIS IS A FAR SUPERIOR ROUTE, AND WELL WORTH A MEASLY $1.5 BIL. MONEY WELL SPENT, I'D SAY!

SINCE THEY HAVE TO SHARE THE ROAD WITH EVERYTHING ELSE, LIGHT-RAIL TRAINS ARE BASICALLY...

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