A mom remembers the moment(s).

• Position: Your Life

"I often wonder about how we can best nurture our children. What will our children remember most about their childhoods? Will it be the lessons that I tried to impart to them about being a 'good' person; what I formally taught them in terms of their academics and proper study habits; outings to get ice cream after school; or naps we took together on a Sunday afternoon? It is difficult to say sometimes what decisions and behaviors impact our children the most," says Monisha Vasa, a board certified general and addiction psychiatrist in private practice in Orange County, Calif., and author of My Dearest One,

"Last Mother's Day, both my son and daughter brought home handmade cards from school. My son's card said, 'Happy Mother's Day. I love you because you are a good coocer." ("cooker" or chef). I was taken aback, as I never really thought my son was interested in food or what I made for him. Apparently, though, he noticed.

"My daughter's card was slightly more extensive, and included a section saying, 'I love my mom because she got a toy out from the car after I left it in there by mistake.' I remember that incident clearly. It was bedtime, and my husband was out of town. After hours of stalling and requests for water, stories, and snacks, I was done--done!

"My daughter was upset because she left her favorite stuffed doggie in the car, and said she would not be able to fall asleep without it. The thought of having to go downstairs, open up the garage, unlock the car, and locate the missing toy (and all of its associated garments) was about to send me over the edge, but I paused for a moment and saw the situation from her perspective. She missed her stuffed animal and wanted it for reassurance and comfort. She had no ability to go to the car and accomplish this herself, the way she could choose her own book or go downstairs to get her own glass of water. So, I set my frustration aside, and I did it. I had no idea that, weeks later, this would be her example on a Mother's Day card of what she appreciated most about me.

"On a moment to moment basis," Vasa continues, "I think our kids love receiving gifts, or being spoiled with treats, but, when it comes down to it, they value our...