Mom, Dad, or Somewhere In Between: Role‐Relational Ambiguity and Children of Transgender Parents

• Author: Jaclyn Tabor
• Published date: 01 April 2019
• Date: 01 April 2019
• DOI: http://doi.org/10.1111/jomf.12537

J T Indiana University

Mom, Dad, or Somewhere In Between:

Role-Relational Ambiguity and Children of

Transgender Parents

Objective: This study introduces the concept of

role-relational ambiguity to explain the chal-

lenges some individuals face in adjusting to a

parent’s gender transition.

Background: When a parent undergoes a

gender transition, our society lacks both the

language and social scripts to describe how

parent-child relationships and roles should look

afterward. Yet little is understood about how

children of transgender parents experience a

parent’s transition.

Method: Drawing from in-depth interviews

with 30 adult children of transgender par-

ents, this article documents the occurrence of

role-relational ambiguity and how individuals

manage this ambiguity in the long term.

Results: Results indicate repeated discussions of

role-relational ambiguity in a majority of par-

ticipants. In the long term, participants devel-

oped a number of strategies for coping with

role-relational ambiguity.

Conclusion: Role-relational ambiguity is a

common occurrence for the children of trans-

gender people interviewed in this study. Yet, it

is evident that most of these participants were

actively engaged in attempts to restructure and

redene relationships with their transgender

Department of Sociology, Indiana University,1020E.

Kirkwood Avenue,744, Bloomington, IN 47405-7103

(jtabor@indiana.edu)

KeyWords: coping, gender roles, LGBTQ, parent-childrela-

tionships, transgender,transitions.

parents despite the obstacles presented by

role-relational ambiguity.

Implications: Role-relational ambiguity is an

understandable response to unexpected family

changes, and one that can be worked through

with time, understanding, and the proper

resources.

I

According to the 2015 U.S. Transgender Sur-

vey, the most comprehensive survey of trans-

gender (henceforth “trans”) people in the United

States, an estimated 18% of trans people are par-

ents (James, Herman, Rankin, Keisling, Mottet,

& Ana, 2016). Although research on nontra-

ditional families shows that lesbian, gay, and

bisexual (LGB) people are reporting increas-

ingly diverse pathways to parenthood (includ-

ing adoption, donor gametes, and surrogacy),

restrictive laws and medical culture regarding

gender diversity has meant that trans parents are

most likely to have children in heterosexual rela-

tionships prior to transitioning (DeSutter, 2001;

Nixon, 2013). In such contexts, all family mem-

bers, children included, can be seen as “transi-

tioning with” the trans person (Haines, Ajayi, &

Boyd, 2014; Hines, 2006). Yet, there are scant

resources and role models for how to see families

through this transition. Without such resources,

trans parents’ relationships with their children

are vulnerable (Lev, 2004).

A whole body of literature is dedicated

to exploring challenges children face when

506 Journal of Marriage and Family 81 (April 2019): 506–519

DOI:10.1111/jomf.12537