Memories of Herbie

• Published date: 01 January 2018
• Date: 01 January 2018
• Author: Marsha Kline Pruett
• DOI: http://doi.org/10.1111/fcre.12320

MEMORIES OF HERBIE

Marsha Kline Pruett

1

Thinking of Herbie always brings a smile to my face, albeit a sad one of late. What he epitomized

throughout his life and across his social and familial circles is a combination of light and warmth that

brings the sun to mind. There aren’t too many people whose memory conjures up such clear and con-

sistent images of sunshine as Herbie. He was a man of many talents and gifts: an excellent teacher,

mediator, and balanced thinker. When we presented together—whether the topic was shared parent-

ing practice, the evolution of family law and policy, or family law education reform—he wrote about

facts and ambiguities rather than conflicts. He broke complicated concepts into small and understand-

able pieces. He took large amounts of material and synthesized them into coherent summaries that

were impossible to disagree with, because he was always circumspect and balanced in his presenta-

tion. I have also never worked closely with someone on separate, complex projects without ever hav-

ing a disagreement or moment of tension. Confusion ... yes. Needing to distill our views ... yes.

But it never reached a level of tension, because he had skin in the game without ego.

He had a sense of humor that found the irony in each situation, and he laughed at himself and

with those around him. He teased in a way that was never mean but still made a point. As a result, he

brought a comfortable feeling to the work we did together and made it seem simple. He was always

willing to step up; interestingly, I don’t recall him looking to do more, just saying yes when he was

asked.

I spoke with Herbie a few days before he went into surgery. We had been toying with the idea of

writing the book together that he had planned to write with Ruth. I offered, he liked the idea and

wanted a little more time to get his head around it. I felt honored to be helping them finish this task

that had hung between them, their next step together. Andy Schepard and I checked in on him and he

was only slightly muted, still expecting to have many decision points ahead of him. I know that book

will not be written now, and how I wish I had known it would be the last time I would speak with

him. So many things I would have said to him—about what a loyal and true friend he had been, how

much I have learned from him and with him.

The clouds have cast a shadow, but behind it, I know Herbie’s spirit still burns brightly in me and

will long be remembered among his many colleagues and friends at AFCC.

NOTE

1. Past President, Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (AFCC); Maconda Brown O’Connor Professor, Smith

College & School for Social Work.

FAMILY COURT REVIEW, Vol. 56 No. 1, January 2018 15

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C2018 Association of Family and Conciliation Courts