Meek previews.

• Author: Gillespie, Nick
• Position: Federal government's call for less violence in television

A guide to the new-and-improved TV lineup

UNDER PRESSURE FROM THE federal government, the cable television industry recently agreed to monitor its programs for violent content (it remains, however, steadfastly opposed to monitoring programs for entertainment content). And the broadcast networks, which began running advisory warnings before shows last July, are pledged to have a similar system in place by this fall.

While the TV industry's Neville Chamberlain impersonation plays well with some would-be dictators--Sen. Paul Simon (D-Ill.) characterized the plan as a "breakthrough"--other despots-in-waiting are not so easily appeased. Sen. Ernest Hollings (D-S.C.)--who previously demonstrated an encyclopedic knowledge of popular culture by referring to Beavis and Butt-head as Buffcoat and Beaver--has told reporters that Congress has "got to act" and that he is ready to hold hearings on the constitutionality of his TV violence bill. Hollings's bill would bar violent programming during hours when children are likely to be watching. No word yet if the senator's characterization of black African leaders as "cannibals" is suitable for children.

Attorney General Janet Reno, who has characterized advisory labels as "itty-bitty steps" and who admitted on The MacNeil/Lehrer NewsHour that she had written a movie script about a 14-year-old boy whose crack addict mother eventually goes to law school, is likely to press for further regulation. The lurking agenda goes beyond proscribing TV violence to using the medium as the means to teach our children well. As President Clinton, in terms uncannily reminiscent of Pa Kent's counsel to Superman about responsibility, told a group of Hollywood movers and shakers, "You have the capacity to do good, culturally to help the way we behave, the way we think of ourselves."

The new, improved TV will no doubt be the equivalent of bran cereal--mushy, good-for-you, packed with (moral) fiber--and feature more uplift than a cross-your-heart bra. Below is a speculative look at the shapes of shows to come.

Ratings: S/MU: spiritual or moral uplift; ISS: implied safe sex; WW: win-win solution to intractable social disease or problem; ALG: ameliorated liberal guilt; VATCOT: violence avoided through court-ordered therapy; PCMM: potentially contradictory moral message; RPSE: reinforcement of positive self-esteem.

SUNDAY

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