Meanwhile in America.

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Caption: The Pew Research Center! The Harris Interactive! Gallup! Zogby! all through September their hourly polls have crashed on us, bringing ever-worsening news from "likely voters."

Even my own hopelessly small, hardly scientific, highly skewed poll of "definite Kerry voters" (ie, my friends) had been demoralizing.

Now with anxiety bordering on panic, a group of us gathers to witness the campaign's first presidential debate. Lara and Rich bring over a bottle of wine and so do I, but, fittingly, my girlfriend Amalie serves martinis.

Indeed, ever since the Republican Convention, we've been "shaken" by Bush and not stirred by Kerry.

Before we can toast St. Jude, the patron saint of lost causes, the debate begins!

Nervous Sarcasm Phase: Frustrated by Kerry's losing campaign, we vent our anger on the ascendant Bush ...

Relief Phase: Increasing heartened by Kerry's sober performance, we note the blinking and pouting of the "War President."

Premature Celebration Phase: Now toying with the notion that Kerry has half a chance in November after all, we call another round.

But as the debate ends and the network switches to a demographically correct group of six "undecided" voters--including a woman...