Managing happiness: (and hormones) for the holidays.

• Author: Cortes, Ivana
• Position: The Holidays - Essay

THE HOLIDAYS can be hectic, stressful, emotionally charged, and, at times, overwhelming. You are under a lot of pressure: for your house to be decorated a certain way, to look nice and be charming at social events, to host and feed family members, to buy the perfect gifts and wrap them flawlessly, and so (so!) much more. That is under normal circumstances--but, let's face it, if you are a new mom, your life is anything but normal. You are hormonal, emotional, easily frustrated, and tired all the time--and even though you are overwhelmed with love for your child, you also are confronted by the new responsibilities stretching out in front of you.

It may seem like everyone else around you is having a great time, and they expect you to feel the same way--after all, you have a brand new bundle of joy in your life but, if you are feeling more like Ebenezer Scrooge than Bob Cratchit, do not worry. You are normal, and so are the post-baby holiday blues.

When you have a baby--especially your first--you can feel like you constantly are being bombarded with lessons from the School of Hard Knocks, no matter how many books you have read or pieces of advice you have been given beforehand. You are operating on low--or nonexistent--margins of time and energy. Your hormones can make you feel like a weepy, angry, irrational alternate-universe version of yourself. So yes, fulfilling holiday expectations and obligations definitely can turn from cheer to chore in a hurry. Adding more things to your to-do list when you already are exhausted and just trying to make it through each day can seem totally overwhelming.

If you are feeling more blue than red-and-green as you consult your holiday calendar, there are ways to enjoy the season more than you thought you would:

Know the signs. It is important to acknowledge to yourself that feeling tired, overwhelmed, emotional, and less-than-festive is normal. There is no need to worry--and definitely no need to beat yourself up--if getting one more load of laundry done before your baby wakes up (or before you crash) is more important to you than preparing the perfect hors d'oeuvre for the upcoming family potluck.

However, it is important for all new moms to know about--and watch for--postpartum depression. If you are feeling altogether detached and uninterested in the holidays, notice a big change in your attitude from last year, or persistently feel sad or angry, you may be experiencing something more serious. Do not hesitate to speak with a physician.

Make a (reasonable) to-do list. As is the case for many things in life, being prepared for navigating the holidays is half the battle. When you have a plan in place, those inevitable bouts of stress, frustration, and sadness will be less likely to derail you. So, as soon as you can, make a list of the things you want to do and accomplish over the next few weeks, whether that is attending certain events, putting up your favorite decorations, or hosting friends and family.

Most of all, make your list reasonable. Writing out pages and pages of tasks to accomplish will make you more crazy, not less. Choose five or six things to accomplish, max. When it comes to your holiday-with-baby plan, less is best. You always can add on more as you go if you feel up to it. Having the most important priorities listed in writing will help you to feel more in control of things, especially during those moments when it is tough to focus on anything other than soothing the crying baby in your arms. Also, keep in mind that now is not the time to list big projects or cleaning tasks. Wait until after the new year to finally clean out your closet or scrub the baseboards.

Buy in bulk. Even without a baby, it practically is inevitable that you will forget to purchase a present for someone, need something for a Secret Santa exchange, or have to scrounge up a hostess gift. Save yourself some hassle and buy something generic and universally appealing in bulk. For instance, you can kill two birds with one stone and buy a case of wine while you are out picking up the economy-size box of diapers, or buy some gift cards to your favorite coffee shop while you are...