Managing conflict.

• Author: Bratkovic, Beth
• Position: Management & Careers

"Where all think alike, no one thinks very much."--Walter Lippmann

Conflict can create emotions of excitement, sadness, fear, anger, or joy. When approached in a constructive way, it can create and enhance ideas, opportunities, growth, relationships, and business outcomes. But handled incorrectly, conflict can be costly. According to one study, "Conflict is inevitable--85 percent of employees experience conflict to some degree (typically around 2.8 hours per week).... Conflict is costly--at least $359 billion in paid hours this year." (1)

The more differing perspectives that are represented in the resolution of a business issue or problem, the higher probability for an excellent outcome --or at least the best solution possible. But at the same time, the more perspectives differ, the higher the likelihood for conflict. The trick is balancing the need for better, stronger ideas and practices with people's need for comfort and safety.

CONFLICT STYLES

Some individuals are hard wired for conflict; they are the competitors. We know them as athletes, sales teams, competitors in some way, shape, or form. They enjoy conflict; in fact, many thrive on it. This group needs guidance in managing conflict.

Then there are those who avoid conflict and want nothing to do with it. They may focus on accommodating others so no one gets uncomfortable. Conflict makes their skin crawl (literally, in some cases; there are those who break out in rashes from the stress conflict causes them), their stomachs hurt, their heads ache. They consider conflict a categorically bad thing, which can cause them to keep their creative ideas, differing perspectives, and input to themselves to avoid offending others. This group needs new skills, language, and filters to help them manage conflict in constructive and productive ways that are comfortable for them.

Finally, there is a third group who are the collaborators and compromisers. These individuals are always looking for a win/win situation or a middle ground in which everyone is accommodated. Most people consider themselves to be in this group, but that is not really the case.

All of the above styles are appropriate in certain situations. Issues arise, however, when we rely on one specific style for every situation. This can result in ineffective outcomes such as injured relationships, lack of creativity, recurring conflicts, unmet needs (for both the individual and the organization), bad decisions, and so forth.

There are...