Look on the Bright Side.

• Author: Durst, Will
• Position: Humorous take on current politics - Brief Article

This is America. Whimpering is not allowed. We should take a chisel to the sign under the Statue of Liberty and change it to "no whining."

We got problems? We take care of them.

My parents, for example. They made it through the Depression, one world war, two nasty foreign incursions, quadraphonic sound, and eight years of Ronald Wilson Reagan. They're as indestructible as a Nebraska dumpling, and so is the country that forged them in that crucible of change. As they are so fond of saying, "It's an ill wind that blows no one some good."

Look at the recent historical reappraisal of the Ford Administration. Who would have thunk? Just goes to show, for every problem comes our way, there is an opposite and equal bright side. And if we as a nation are unable to find it, I will.

The Problem: Retirees and folks on fixed incomes can't afford to pay electric bills.

The Bright Side: Think of the money to be made renting out basements to hang meat and transforming kitchens into dark rooms.

The Problem: Supreme Court says medical marijuana is a crock.

The Bright Side. Tobacco companies will have to wait a little longer to gain control of crop distribution, and freelance pilots still have plenty of employment opportunities.

The Problem: Giant meteor to destroy Earth in 2028.

The Bright Side: Plenty of time to cash in that second mortgage and head to Vegas.

The Problem: Scientists unite to accuse Bush of policies exacerbating global warming.

The Bright Side: Dune buggies everywhere, dude.

You can't make stuff up like this:

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