Living Happily Ever After.

PositionPre-marital risk assessment - Brief Article

Thanks to a wave of a wand and a dance in the night, Cinderella found herself in the arms of Prince Charming and lived happily ever after--maybe. We missed the follow-up story, but the fantasy most likely got locked in the attic with the glass slippers. While many enjoy their Cinderella moment as they are swept off their feet, they often find that marriage doesn't chase their problems away with the stepmother. Unresolved issues linger longer than the echoing of the wedding bells.

Jeffry H. Larson, chairman of the Family and Marriage Therapy Program at Brigham Young University, Provo, Utah, and author of Should We Stay Together?, identifies 25 factors essential to evaluating a relationship and improving chances for long-term success. His theories are based on 60 years of social science research and more than 100 studies.

"It is so important for couples to take a comprehensive inventory of their relationship and address important issues before they marry," he maintains. "Many think that love is enough to overcome any obstacle, but history continues to repeat itself and prove this is simply not true. The time for change is before you say, `I do.'"

Larson says that showing couples where they need to strengthen their relationship in order to withstand the inevitable stresses and strains of marriage could help lower the divorce rate. He believes scientific predictors can help both individuals and couples be the right person, wed the right person, and marry at the right time in their lives. "Not every couple in love should get married. While the timing might be right for some, other couples simply need more time to mature; some have to work through specific issues; and others should never be together."

To help couples assess their current relationship and determine whether they are prone to long-term success--or failure--Larson has created a model that contains 25 individual predictors organized in personal and relationship contexts, individual traits, and couple traits. The following are the individual predictors of relationship liabilities (predict marital dissatisfaction) and assets (predict marital...

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