Live fat, die young: the upside.

• Author: Assadourian, Erik
• Position: EDITORIAL - Editorial

Overheard one morning in a U.S. Senate cafeteria ...

Lobbyist: Glad you could meet with me, Senator.

Senator: Not a problem, anything for one of my biggest campaign contributors. How are things at Majorfoods, Inc.?

Lobbyist: Fantastic! Profits are soaring. In fact, we just released a new product, the St'uffin[R]--a sugar-glazed, deep-fried, chocolate-chip-and-peanut-butter muffin. It's flying off the shelves! Here, try one.

Senator: Thanks. Mmmm, that is good. Now, what was it you wanted to discuss?

Lobbyist: Well, I may have the answer to the Social Security logjam.

Senator: Do tell.

Lobbyist: Everyone thinks that Social Security is running out of money, right? Well, that assumes Americans are going to live as long tomorrow as they do today. But according to a recent study in the New England Journal of Medicine--Americans' lives are now shorter by three months to a year because of obesity. And they'll soon lose another two to five years ...

Senator: And you're saying this is a good thing?

Lobbyist: No, no, tragic. Absolutely tragic! Another St'uffin? But with average life-spans falling, Social Security will remain solvent for generations.

Senator: I see your point, but for some reason this seems wrong to me.

Lobbyist: I understand completely, Senator. It's easy to be swayed by the muckrakers who blame the food industry for making America fat. But we both know better than that. We live the good life here in America and some of us enjoy ourselves as fully as we can. Good drink, excellent food, magnificent desserts--these all...