What do you hear when you listen? Principles and tips for developing critical listening skills: honing your listening skills can help you hear the meaning behind the messages, leading to personal and professional success.

• Author: Wyzga, Diane F.
• Position: Management & Careers

There is a critical difference between hearing and listening, although we often exchange one for the other. To listen is to hear with thoughtful intention. When we listen, we pay attention to the speaker's verbal and nonverbal messages. We listen so people can flourish, so organizations can thrive, so agendas can take root, and so perspectives can be heard, thereby giving our personal and professional communities a better chance of accomplishing their goals.

This article outlines seven principles and related tips designed to help you listen effectively when meeting with bosses, employees, colleagues, and citizens. The tips work whether you are listening to an individual or to a group. To narrow your focus and stay on track, always ask yourself who you are listening to and what you are listening for.

PRINCIPLE I

"We are lonesome animals. We spend all of our life trying to be less lonesome. One of our ancient methods is to tell a story, begging the listener to say--and to feel--'Yes! That is the way it is, or at least that is the way I feel it. 'You are not as alone as you thought."

--John Steinbeck author

The downside of the Internet, text messaging, and automated telephone systems has been to isolate us from personal contact with each other. Our society has become a sound-bombarded, disoriented mess. Many people do not feel like they have the time to listen. Yet, think about it: How do you feel when someone gives you their undivided attention for a couple of uninterrupted minutes? It is like being given a present.

Tip: Listening is a gift to the speaker. Engaging with one another begins with the gift of listening. The next time you have the opportunity to listen to someone, do so for two minutes without interruption. It may be helpful to nod your head or add the occasional "uh huh" to let the speaker know you are present and aware. You might wish to ask yourself how it felt to listen to the speaker without interruption. What engaged you with the speaker? What small insight or "ah hah!" did you gain?

PRINCIPLE 2

"A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he gets to know something."

--Wilson Mizner playwright and entrepreneur

We are often in situations that require us to listen to an individual or a group, with their individual and collective agendas, as well as the disenfranchised--those who have no voice or believe they have no voice. In these situations, it is helpful to ask yourself what you would really like to...